Walk Me Throught Your Resume

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Walk me through your resume. If you ever get asked that in an interview or a networking conversation don't answer it! Literally, what happens is it ends up being a mini life story and filled with a lot of information that doesn't actually pertain to the conversation at hand. So, the question within the question that the other person's really trying to get at is: tell me what I need to know about you, your background, and your experience that matters for this conversation at hand that shows you’re a good fit for this job opportunity. If you keep that in mind and use that to frame your answer and what you highlight about your background it's going to be a much more effective answer.

The Best Interview Preparation

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What's the best way to go about prepping for a job interview and knowing what questions you're going to get asked? Start with the job description. So many of my clients before we work together when they're called for interviews they start by Googling frequently asked interview questions or common interview questions and while that's not a bad practice it's not the best way to go about it. You have all the clues in the job description to know what the organization is curious about so take that and dissect it and turn everything from the duties to the qualifications and skills into questions.

So, for example if they talk about a need for project management skills they're probably going to ask a question like: tell me about a time when you managed a project. You can also use Chat GPT or one of your favorite AI tools plug it in and say act as a hiring manager and create a sample list of questions pertinent to this role. From there, you can then start to zoom out and look at those frequently asked questions like tell me about yourself but this is going to be much more effective.

Surprising Job Search Mindset Tool

Job search resilience refers to the ability to remain positive, motivated, and persistent despite the challenges you might face during the job search process. Watch this video to learn a tip that can help build job search resilience.

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I want to share one of the most creative things I have heard when it comes to thinking about job search resilience. So I was speaking at a conference and my co-panelist shared that she had been laid off from a job and every morning before she got started with her applications and her networking, she would watch a commencement speech.

Now that was not the thing that I was expecting to hear. And she shared that a lot of times in those speeches, people are talking about really hard times in their lives, how they persevered, and then usually they're pretty successful people. So I thought this was so thoughtful, so creative, so out of the box, and a great way to think about taking care of your mindset and your mental health when going through something that can be pretty challenging for many people.

So I hope that this tool is supportive for you, whether you've been laid off or not, to help you have another tool in the toolkit for taking good care of yourself.

Salary Negotiation

Have you had the desire to negotiate your salary but you’re not sure how your employer will react? Turns out salary negotiation is common and even expected from the majority of employers. Explore compelling reasons why negotiating your salary is helpful for your career success.

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Did you know that about 70% of organizations expect candidates to negotiate after they're given a job offer? Yet only about 50% of people actually do that negotiation. Now there's a lot of factors at hand, and I do want you to know, if you're excited about and happy about the offer, then you don't have to feel pressure to negotiate.

That being said, a lot of times we just get anxious, and I notice that my clients just get nervous that an offer will be rescinded, and that is what prevents them from negotiating. There are many different ways to approach this conversation in a respectful and grounded way, to advocate in the facts and the data that you do deserve more without offending an organization or the employer at hand.

If this is something you're interested in learning more about, I'm happy to connect. But even just knowing that many people put an offer out there expecting you to ask for more can be the nudge that a lot of people need.

Facing Farewell: Resources for End-of-Life Care and Grief

This is a post I wish I never had the knowledge to be able to write…

When my mother went to the Emergency Room in September of 2019, she was diagnosed with Stage IV non-smokers lung cancer and told she had months to live.

I gleaned many lessons and resources over the next two years of her decline, subsequent death, and while navigating the “after” and grieving process.

I’m publishing this on the 2-year anniversary of her death and am called to briefly share about her before getting into the resources.

Patricia Hayes Axtmayer was one of the kindest humans to walk the earth. She was a nurse, Red Cross Volunteer, blood and platelet donor, mom, mentor, grandmother, sister, lover of libraries, dog rescuer, half marathoner, and the woman who dedicated her days to making other people happy. She lived her 70 years in service to making the world better, even donating her body to medical school for research as a final act of selflessness.

I like to think that her legacy of helping others lives on through my words today, in sharing tools to support others through this incredibly challenging and inevitable part of life.

Whether you’re witnessing someone aging, caring for a person with a terminal illness or at the end of their life, or are in the throes of grieving the death of a loved one, there is something for you in the words to come.

No matter what, I hope you know that you are not alone.

Anticipatory Grief

I didn’t really know about this concept before my mom was given a terminal diagnosis. The nutshell definition is: “the distress a person may feel in the days, months or even years before the death of a loved one or other impending loss.”

This article goes more in depth into what anticipatory grief is, how it may feel, and more, as the term transcends the conversation around death and can relate to other potential losses and big changes in life as well.

Recently, it became clear that this feeling hits home for many when a tweet stating “We don’t talk enough about the anticipatory grief of watching your parents age” went viral.

An important note is that there is conflicting data around whether experiencing anticipatory grief can help soften the blow later. I can speak from my own experience to say that it didn’t – and I was surprised and unprepared for that reality.

We were told mom had months to live, but through clinical trials and different chemotherapy regimens, she made it two years. I wrote the bulk of my mother’s eulogy and obituary while she was still alive. We spoke together about death, a future without her in this physical world, and I pre-picked the favors for her memorial mass during what ended up being her final days of life (the favors turned out to be a charming tribute to her love of gardening).

My Type A personality may have subconsciously thought that I could project manage my grief…

While I’m grateful I was able to do these things before (anything that lightens your administrative and cognitive load during those initial weeks of grieving is a huge help), it did nothing to lessen the devastation when she died.

I share this not to be the bearer of doom-and-gloom but because I think it’s important to have realistic expectations - you can prepare all you want but it’s likely you will never be fully ready for what it feels like to experience the loss. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, it’s just the nature of what comes with something this monumental.

There is a formula that comes from Buddhist tradition that relates well to this:

I was frustrated by the depth of pain I felt because her death was expected. That resistance made my suffering worse. Perhaps with an awareness of this concept, you’ll be less likely to resist your pain even though accepting it is incredibly hard as well.

Palliative Care

This is another term many people aren’t familiar with and/or don’t know of as a potential resource.

Here is a good synopsis provided by Cleveland Clinic:

“Palliative care provides symptom relief, comfort and support to people living with serious illnesses like heart disease, cancer or chronic respiratory disease. Its benefits extend to caretakers, too. If you’re living with a life-altering illness, palliative care may be available to improve your health and overall well-being.”

The article goes on to describe different aspects of palliative care including populations that can benefit (anyone with an incurable medical condition of any age/stage), who provides it, and the breadth of support it’s designed to provide.

The hospital my mom received cancer care from had a palliative care division, but I found we really had to advocate to tap into their resources. I won’t go into the politics than can exist between various providers in the healthcare system, and I’m sure it plays out differently depending on where you are/what the medical situation is, but at some larger institutions the left hand may not know what the right is doing.

So, it’s important to know about and that you can ask for this kind of support!

An example of how this can look: my mom often had many side effects from her chemo treatments and we could only cover so much in a short appointment with the oncologist. Working with the palliative team, we could spend more time talking through all areas of my mom’s life, her goals, and how to best support her both physically and mentally (for example in addition to medications they made a referral to the social work team).

The best time to tap into palliative resources is as soon as you can, as it’s designed to accompany you in navigating everything from the financial to emotional components to symptom management.

In fact, “patients who receive palliative care early in their disease course may live longer than if they did not receive palliative care, or received it later in the disease course.” JAMA.

Also, “Recent clinical trials examining the effects of early integration of specialty palliative care show marked improvement in patient satisfaction, mood, quality of life, health care utilization, and overall survival. For example, patients who received early in-home palliative care services in addition to usual care had fewer emergency department visits, hospital admissions, and lower medical costs.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5730447/

My absolute favorite expert on all things palliative medicine is Dr Sunita Puri – her book That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour is an exceptional read and really examines the ways the medical system can relieve suffering and become more comfortable with end of life discussions.

I read her book while my mom was alive, and it helped me learn more about how the system should address suffering and whole-person care, which empowered me to advocate for her through the last years of her life.

If you’d like to get a taste of this concept, here is Dr Puri talking about what I hope will be the norm in medicine to help patients and families avoid unnecessary suffering and examine quality of life over quantity of time alive.

My mom had the “gift of the gab” and always asked her providers to share how THEY were doing. Here we’re speaking with her palliative medicine doctor to explore additional symptom support

Hospice: Inpatient vs. Home Care

Some people confuse palliative care and hospice care – these are distinct and if you’re new to end of life conversations, it’s important to clarify what hospice is:

“Like palliative care, hospice provides comprehensive comfort care as well as support for the family, but, in hospice, attempts to cure the person's illness are stopped. Hospice is provided for a person with a terminal illness whose doctor believes he or she has six months or less to live if the illness runs its natural course.”

For example, when my mom was working with the palliative care team, she was still receiving chemotherapy. When it stopped working, she stopped infusions and transitioned fully to hospice care. The oncology team told her she would have 1-2 months left, and she died 29 days later.

Here are some resources that cover the FAQ’s about hospice care, including different types of options for where to receive it, insurance coverage, and more:

• https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/frequently-asked-questions-about-hospice-care

• https://www.cancer.org/cancer/end-of-life-care/hospice-care/who-provides-hospice-care.html

The great debate for many people is whether to receive inpatient care or to do home hospice care.

It’s a huge question with lots to consider, and much easier to talk through when it’s a hypothetical. Most people end up being in a position to choose when it’s time sensitive because who wants to think about dying?! More on that soon…

We did home hospice, and a few things I think are important to share:

• It does NOT include around the clock care – the primary caretaker/family/friends are responsible for the care which can include symptom management, medication management, lifting the person in/out of bed or wheelchair, helping the person to the bathroom / changing diapers, managing procurement of and refilling supplies.

• Typically, a hospice nurse comes to provide home visits at a certain cadence depending on the medical details. Our experience was a once/week visit with lovely, kind, and caring nurses. The provider rotated between 3 or so nurses. There are options to pay for private care to get additional care, and some insurance may have benefits to help with the financial side of that, but it’s another logistic to manage.

• It was incredibly hard, even with the shifts spread across us 4 children and a few dear family friends. It was also a privilege to care for her, and beyond special to know my mom was where she wanted to be for the end of her life - feeling the good energy and surroundings of a place she lived for 40 years. 

Death Doula

This is yet another resource that’s not as well known – perhaps more than all of the others mentioned here so far!

Only a few years ago I had NO idea this was a profession. These beautiful souls focus on helping a dying person and their loved ones before, during and after death.

“An end-of-life doula provides emotional and physical support, education about the dying process, preparation for what’s to come and guidance while you’re grieving.” https://health.clevelandclinic.org/death-doula/

Other terms can be death midwife, end of life doula, end of life coach, or death coach.

I found a local death doula and we met with her once… we thought we had more time, but my mom died only 3 days after our conversation with her.

We sat together on the porch, one of my mom’s favorite places, sipping tea and talking about life. Their conversation went into some philosophical places, and my sister and I saw a reflective side of my mom through witnessing this exchange. My sister even used part of their conversation in her eulogy, and we’re forever grateful that my mom was able to feel supported through this offering.

Here is an example of a well-known death doula, and she has a directory of other providers on her website as well.

Legacy Work

Something that can be done with or without death doulas is legacy work.

This can take many forms and people can either be heavily involved or not much involved depending on the project.

I love this description from Penn Medicine: “A challenging diagnosis often leads people to think about their legacy, what and who they will eventually leave behind. People often think of their financial situation, but almost always, there is the shift to our relationships. We think about what people mean to us, what we want to share with them, what we hope for them.

Unfortunately, all too often, these thoughts stay thoughts and aren’t actually put into motion or shared. “Legacy work” is the process of transforming these thoughts into action. It’s the act of sitting down and taking time to purposefully create something for the people you love and care about. It is a way to capture life stories, lessons, sentiments, memories, and traditions. Legacies can convey what we want remaining and future generations to know and understand about our life experiences. They help us to remember and heal as we carry on important traditions.”

That link goes into many examples of what this can look like – which includes capturing family recipes, stories, photos, and voices. This doesn’t have to be something you wait to do until end of life or a terminal diagnosis, and Storyworth is one example of a platform designed to capture stories in a longitudinal way.

If that quote I shared above about aging parents resonated with you, you can explore this for yourself now! Here are more prompts: https://www.legacyproject.org/activities/lifestory.html

I shared my mom’s original prognosis in a new mom Facebook group and asked for ideas to keep her memory alive for my daughter since she was only 3 months old. I was met with such compassion, kindness, and many actionable ideas (which is impressive since mom Facebook groups have a pretty bad reputation!).

One that stood out: “if there’s any habits she has - try to save those! Example: my mom always called and sang me happy birthday. I would give anything to have that recorded somewhere. My birthday has been the hardest part of losing her for that reason.”

Weirdly enough, I had a voicemail saved from 2017 where my mom sang happy birthday to me and left one of her epic signature long-winded ramble-y messages. I listen to it often and it’s quite the balm on harder days.

Resources:

This is already 4 pages long in MS Word so I better cut myself off soon! Additional resources:

Grief… I could do an entire post on this topic alone, but there are experts out there for that. I’ll share a few things that I found helpful.

A friend, whose sister had died a few years prior, sent me this reddit post. The wave analogy and the reminder that grief is also love was comforting, especially in the initial stage of feeling overcome and weighed down by the intensity of it all.

The ball and box analogy for grief can be a supportive framework for how your feelings may evolve over time. That same friend sent me this podcast episode called “Grateful for Grief” between Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert which had me reaching for the tissues.

These are some ways to care for your mind/body through the demands of caretaking and grieving (I personally have used all of these and credit these modalities as being critical to surviving the trauma of it all):

• EMDR Therapy- specific modality for working through trauma. This website has a directory for finding practitioners.

• Acupuncture – game changer! I worked with Heather at Wander Well Acupuncture here in MA when trying to conceive all the way through to today for general support. You name it, acupuncture can help address it.

• Therapy – I was a new mom, partner, friend, sister, daughter, caretaker, business owner, coach, and wellness speaker (and then in the midst of it all, COVID happened!). I needed a place to be able to fall apart. In managing and holding space for others most of each day, this was a sacred place to just be a mess and feel supported by someone else.

• https://endwellproject.org/ - their talks and resources are impressive. I’ve found the recordings of talks especially inspirational. From them: “End Well has become the most widely known and respected organization at the intersection of popular culture and healthcare with a focus on end of life, grief, loss, caregiving, and associated health and welfare challenges.” They have a “fresh perspective and commitment to infusing wonder, joy and hope into these conversations while also tackling the tough stuff.”

• Family Medical Leave Act in the USA (additional info here): There are eligibility requirements and different policies depending on where you live, but it’s important to know about potential options for leave from your employer if you’re a caretaker. I recently did a wellness workshop on burnout and a participant shared that after the session she realized she was fried and needed to get more support as she cared for her father. She was able to use the policy to go part-time in her work, and is markedly less stressed in managing competing demands and able to be more present with her father. Here are 5 things employers get wrong about caregivers at work. The more we share our struggles, ask for resources and policies, and normalize the human experience, the more likely we can ignite greater change.

Books:

• A Beginner's Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death by BJ Miller and Shoshanna Berger. This is a must read for all humans, whether you have a chronic illness, are near end of life, or a regular ol’ 40 year old. It’s a phenomenal resource for ALL parts of preparing for the inevitable end – literally all of the things, from getting affairs in order to what to expect of the mind and the body in its final stages of life.

• Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande. Another exceptional read (and dovetails nicely with the book mentioned above by Dr Sunita Puri). My dearest friend has used this as a framework for navigating proactive conversations with her family members to know what everyone’s wishes are in (the hopefully very distant) end.

Grief focused books:

• Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman. This is my absolute favorite for myself and that I’ve purchased it for others. If you cringed at the meditation part, it’s not actually meditation. Each calendar page has a quote and a short note that usually strikes a comforting/validating chord.  

• Full disclaimer- I only partially read these two books that were recommended to me. I tried to read them before my mom died and again in the very initial month or so after, and my grief brain fog didn’t allow much to sink in. It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine and also Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief: A Revolutionary Approach to Understanding and Healing the Impact of Loss by Claire Bidwell Smith (she also runs grief programs/workshops).

Wrap it up, Aileen!

Death is fascinating in that it’s one of the only things that every human has in common – one of the only guarantees – yet one of the most avoided topics.

I hope that if you’re reading this, you and your loved ones are far away from needing the information… and perhaps this can inspire you to have the hard but important conversations when the stakes aren’t as high.

I know that most likely, you’ve read this far for other reasons. My heart is with yours and I’ll share what Susan David says as a reminder of the duality of life: “Life's beauty is inseparable from its fragility.” 

Wishing you and yours many more days of beauty and comfort ahead.

Thank you, Mom, for continuing to help others breathe easier. Love you more than the world.

Feeling the jet lag together in Ireland, one of her favorite places in the world, in 2010

The Greatest Lessons I’ve Learned as an Entrepreneur

I’ve officially been a woman-owned small business owner for 7 years!

Here are 7 lessons from 7 years of my entrepreneurship journey to help YOU in your work and wellbeing.

1) Celebrate your wins… and save proof!

Life is too short and there is always more to achieve. If you don’t acknowledge what you’ve done to get where you are, you’re never going to feel fulfilled.

Save those happy emails and any data of those wins… and take pictures when possible. The photo below is from February 2016 commemorating the first time I received payment for my own business. 😊

One way to integrate this into your regular workday? Start your weekly team meeting by asking everyone to share one win. It builds connection, community, and helps retrain your brain to start to look for the positive.

2) It’s okay, and beneficial, to cringe.

There are MANY things I did when I started that I cringe at now. It reminds me of when I found the resume that I submitted when I first applied be a career coach in 2007 … I had an interests section that listed “the internet” #eldermillenial

We all started somewhere and were novices at some point. If you look back and cringe, it’s a good sign of all the skill development and expertise you’ve gained along the way.

3) Be kind to yourself

Most of us have a feed running in our minds filled with negative self-talk. In a world that pretends perfection is attainable, let’s dispel that myth and honor that we’re human and to be human is to make mistakes.

There are over 2000 studies on the power of self-compassion for improved wellbeing and professional development.

Life is hard enough - have your own back.

4) Ask for help

Oooooo… growth edge anyone? <<raising my own hand>>

My thanks to my best friends and family for being my unofficial board members at the start of my business. This isn’t new advice for most, but my invitation is to explore how much you’re implementing this on a regular basis in your personal and/or professional life.

5) Zoom out

You've likely heard me preach about doing career wellness check-ins. I said I never wanted to have my own business. My interests and values shifted, and I've changed my professional life to align with those shifts.
 
You're not the same person at 43 that you were at 23. Give yourself space to see what you want your work to mean and how it is or isn't aligned.

6) You can have too much of a good thing

It’s less talked about, but you can absolutely burn out from doing what you love.

How can you create boundaries to not let work take over?

7) Live your life

We’re human beings not human doings. You can work hard AND have hard boundaries about when it’s time to rest. When you learn how much happens when we sleep, it becomes clear how productive rest is and how critical a component it is to achieving.

Often, we don't take this to heart until life puts it in perspective for us...
 
Take the vacation. Close the laptop when you’re fried and just mouse-moving. There will always be more unread emails.

Be okay leaving things on the to-do-list and reconnecting to things on your who I want to-be list.

Cheers to 7 years, and to you celebrating yourself more!

3 Lessons from Ted Lasso to Help Your Job Search

I’ve already confessed my love for Ted Lasso in my 5 Lasso Lessons to use to create a healthier work culture article.

With Season 3 (finally!!!) being officially teased as “coming soon” – what better way to celebrate than to discuss how this show can bring lightness to an often-heavy thing – the job search process.

Okay… one better way to celebrate would be to rewatch Seasons 1 and 2… this will be here when you’re done 😊

With significant layoffs happening lately, this topic is even more important to discuss.

Here are 3 Lessons from Ted Lasso for Job Seekers

1. Be curious

Photo credit https://tenor.com/view/ted-lasso-tedlassogifs-be-curious-jason-sudeikis-dont-judge-gif-21044956

If you watched the show, you’ll remember one of the best scenes from the series (in my opinion!) being when Ted beat Rupert in darts in front of the entire pub. Here’s a refresher, or a little sneak peek if you’ve never watched.

Random fun fact: I played a LOT of darts when I went to college at Villanova University and was actually fairly decent. RIP Maloney’s Pub!

This mindset can be very helpful when you’re interviewing for a new job. It’s easy to get distracted by the excitement of moving forward after applying and to forget that you’re interviewing the organization too!  

One way to stand out from fellow interviewees is to think strategically about what to say when asked “What questions do you have for us?”

Here’s where being curious comes in.

If you’re interested in and excited about the role, then you’re likely starting to envision and think about the realities of what it might be like to actually:

…do that job

…be a part of that organization

…work with the people interviewing you.

Asking questions about the details of those things will absolutely make you stand out from your competition and show that you’re invested in this opportunity. An example of what this could look like:

“I noticed in the news recently the announcement of a future partnership with XYZ Company. I’m curious to know how that partnership might impact this team, and the scope of work for this role in particular?”

A related note: If you’re genuinely interested in the organization and the job, this is much easier to do.   😊

2. Culture clues are all around

Pulling on this curiosity thread, if you keep your eyes open, there are often clues on company culture all around.

Ted Lasso treats every member of the AFC Richmond organization the same – from executives to the MVPs to kit man Nate. While that’s the norm for a person of his character, it’s clear that when he takes over as head coach that this way of treating others is not the norm. In Season 1 Nate is absolutely shocked when Ted is talking to him, remembering his name, and including him in any decision-making.

Photo credit https://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/e5d9a5d2-cdbd-414e-b64e-d27365c88e52/gif

That was a clue for Ted to see what the former leadership was like. For anyone at AFC Richmond wondering how this new coach would influence the team culture, it was clear from the start that outdated hierarchical dynamics would not be a part of the new system and that everyone had value and something to contribute.  

Many clients come to me looking to leave a toxic work environment – but a common theme? They know they want to make a change, but they’re terrified that they may end up somewhere just as bad or worse.

While we can never be 100% sure about what it will be like at a particular employer until we’re employees, there are a number of ways we can try to collect culture clues.

Here are some strategies:

• Look at feedback and company reviews on Glassdoor: I do think of this as being analogous to Yelp reviews for restaurants – you need to have these be only one piece of the puzzle I’ve looked up my favorite restaurants on Yelp and been shocked to see some of the poor reviews – everyone has their own unique experience 😊 That being said, if there are tons of reviews saying there is a toxic work culture, that’s important data to consider.

• Ask questions in your interviews – other than the basic “can you tell me about the company culture” – to keep collecting clues. I approve of the sample questions included in this article with 6 ways to figure out a company’s culture, and the other tips they share are great as well.

• You can also use the interview process, particularly the types of questions you get asked, to reverse engineer and see if they’re pointing to any red flags. If every interview round has multiple questions about how well you handle challenges, lack of information and clear direction, and conflict… take note! Write down the questions you’re asked right after finishing each interview so you can zoom out and look for these themes before accepting an offer. Also, if you arrive early for any in-person interviews, use that time to be a fly on the wall and see what you might observe about employee dynamics.

• Is there high turnover? You can ask how long the person who held the role you’re interviewing for was in it, but you can also do an advanced search on LinkedIn and see if the organization is churning out people. Lastly, I love these 9 “sneaky” ways to keep assessing culture.

One last point on this Lasso lesson: you can also use this idea to your benefit when onboarding at a new organization. Look to learn from everyone, not just those in leadership or roles more senior to yours!

For example, if someone technically “below” you in an organizational chart has been there for 10 years already, they have a lot of institutional knowledge. This is one of the hardest things to learn when starting somewhere new, and something that can contribute to your ability to hit the ground running.

Everyone has something valuable to contribute.  

3. Be a goldfish*

When Sam is beating himself up after a play, Ted shares that the happiest animal in the world is a goldfish because they have a 10 second memory. He then encourages Sam to be a goldfish and it’s perfectly awkwardly received.

Photo from https://tenor.com/view/ted-lasso-tedlassogifs-jason-sudeikis-goldfish-be-a-goldfish-gif-20788379

I put an * on this lesson because there is some nuance to it.

If you’re applying to jobs with a thoughtful job search strategy and aren’t hearing back or never making it to final rounds of interviews, channeling your inner goldfish can help you not take any radio silence or rejection from employers personally.

However, it’s important to not completely goldfish this scenario: if you’re never moving forward in your process, look for the message that might be under the surface.

• Is there room to articulate your background better to connect the dots for employers?

• Can you make your resume stronger?

• How do you deal with answering negative interview questions?

Once you’ve assessed whether there is anything to learn, let goldfish mentality come in to avoid past “losses” impacting your future performance.

It’s much easier said than done, especially if you were a part of layoffs as that can take a toll on your confidence, but fostering job search resilience is key to being able to employ this strategy. 

Surrounding yourself with a community of people that treat you with kindness and cheer you on, when you’re winning or losing, is always a sound strategy in life. If you don’t have your own Lasso-like coach to be a part of that community, feel free to book a complimentary consultation with this coach instead 😊

Happy job hunting, and don’t forget to BELIEVE!

Photo from https://tenor.com/view/ted-lasso-believe-gif-18590055

How to Job Search When You’re Feeling Burned Out

The calendar starts fresh.

There is a lot of that “New Year, New You” vernacular out there and a wiry energy abounds… but we all know that the holiday season is not exactly recharging for most adults (I’m especially looking at you, parents of young kids!).

With all the talk of creating new habits and setting goals, you may wonder how anyone manages when you’re just trying to stay afloat.

If that sentiment resonates for you, you may be burnt out.

Some other traditional warning signs of burnout, as per the OG psychologist on the matter, Herbert Freudenberger, are:

• Depersonalization

• Decreased sense of accomplishment

• Emotional exhaustion

Whether you’re burned out or “simply” experiencing the stress that comes with being in a job you don’t want to be in anymore, energy is a finite resource either way.

So, what do you do with this Catch-22:

You need energy to look for a new job, but your current job is taking your energy?

Four tips for job searching when you’re feeling burnt out:

1. commit to calming your nervous system

   It may sound counterintuitive, but I recommend starting by NOT going all in on job boards and applications. This is how approximately 99% of my clients begin their search before we work together 😊 This approach can easily become a time suck – here’s how it often plays out:

   You sit down in front of your computer thinking, “Okay here we go, job search time!” and then three hours and 30 open browser tabs later you are left questioning what you’ve accomplished. Maybe you started with clicking a link for an open position, which led you to look up the company on LinkedIn, which led you to click on an employee profile to learn more, which brought you to another company page, which…. you get the point. Long story short: before you know it, lots of time and energy have been expended... both of which you typically don’t have an excess of if you’re burnt out.  

   Start, instead, by becoming militant about your stress management.

   This doesn’t mean you need to spend all day everyday meditating. What I mean is, take the step of discovering (or simply recognizing) which activities help you feel like your best self. I’m talking your tried-and-true go-to stress reducing strategies – the things you either already do (or could integrate more), and commit to prioritizing them even when adding a job search to your plate.

   Are you feeling so far down the burnout cycle that you don’t even know what helps you feel better?

   I’m obsessed with the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. These are their 6 evidence-based strategies to turn OFF your stress cycle and turn ON your rest and repair mode. The good news? They’re all simple, free, and doable (and they work!).

   A related note for business owners or if you have to plan a lot of content in your work: Tracy Stanger has a Planning Your Year program that I did for 2023. One thing I love is that she has you input your down-time and personal commitments FIRST. We all know those can easily get kicked to the curb, so prioritizing them first then making the rest of your life fit around it is the kind of anti-hustle counter-culture messaging the world needs.

2. Believe in Boundaries

   We’ve all heard about the power of saying no by now, and if you’re burned out you have FULL permission to scale back your committments and expectations of yourself.

   When you feel like you’re treading water, tell yourself that staying afloat is enough.

   No need for any fancy swim strokes.

   In addition to saying no and taking pressure off of yourself, explore creating boundaries at your current job to mitigate additional stress (if possible!).

   I love this breakdown of 10 traits of an anti-burnout employee.

   If you work from home and feel like work just bleeds into all of your time, these simple strategies can help create both literal and metaphorical space between you and your work.

3. control what you can control

   Along those lines, what are the additional sources of stress in your life? There are plennnnty of stressors we have zero control over (hence my strong nudge to double down on the stress reducing coping strategies). But, which might you have some control over reducing?

   For example:

   A. Are you surrounded by negative people – otherwise known as energy vampires – and is there room to distance yourself from them? Here are 6 strategies to protect your energy.

   B. Do you feel exhausted every time the alarm goes off in the morning and if so, is there any wiggle room in your control to go to bed earlier? Create a wind down routine to help “land the plane” of your brain before bed? Here are other reasons why you may be so tired (and what to do about it).

   C.  Are you stress-scrolling and spending time (the same time you feel like you don’t have enough of!) getting sucked into a comparison trap on social media? Here are some free resources to create more screen life balance.

4. know, and keep coming back to, your why

   What is driving you to make a change?

   What kind of impact would it have to stay where you are and not put energy towards this new role?

   If you land what you’re looking for - how will life look differently for you / your family / your friends?

   Being clear about these answwers and having these bigger picture drivers in mind can help you keep perspective and stay resilient through the process.

I hope these strategies serve you in restoring and protecting your energy, so you can land work you love!

Simple but Powerful Practices to Create Boundaries Between Work and Home

Does the term quiet quitting make you want to roll your eyes at this point?

I get it – but it’s amazing to see the narrative shifting and employees pushing back on previous paces of work that are not sustainable.

The best thing I’ve seen about quiet quitting was the following tweet:

The last few years have created opportunities for many people to reevaluate their values. What matters to them. What they want their work to mean – or not mean – to them in their lives.

You can love what you do and work in a healthy culture and still prioritize creating healthy boundaries to not let work interfere with doing the other things that matter to you.

What has been particularly refreshing for me is that companies are reaching out to me to teach their employees how to prevent, or recover from, employee burnout.

My most popular corporate wellness workshop has been my “Power Down, Level Up: How to Create a Healthier Relationship with Your Phone to Improve Your Life.” In this corporate wellness program, in addition to all the tech tips and tricks for disconnecting from our phones, I also share strategies for separating work from home.

These are not mutually exclusive, as often we check work email on our phone, but zooming out on how we think about our workday and delineating between being “on the clock” and off is also important… especially since the lines have become much more blurred with the increase in working from home.

Here are more ideas for creating those sparkling boundaries:

• Set an automated “out of office” email for the weekends to counter the culture of always being available. Still in the habit of checking emails on nights/weekends? If you’re the kind of person that feels you need to respond right away or you’ll forget, you can reply to the email at night/the weekend but schedule it to only send during normal business hours.

• Bookend your day with a calming ritual. Work tends to bleed into times in our schedule that used to be protected as we WFH more. If possible, block off your calendar first thing in the morning (just like when you used to commute to the office and not be available for a call!). Do something grounding to set the tone for your nervous system for the day. Similarly, end your day with a clear signal of “leaving” work – even if it’s just a walk around the block. It does wonders for making the transition in your mind.

• Establish a designated workspace in your home (aka no laptop in bed or wherever you relax). This helps your brain stop associating every corner of your home with work. If you have trouble sleeping but work in your bedroom/bed, this is for you! If you want bonus points, set a cut-off time for work, and shut down (gasp!) your computer and put it out of sight.

• If you tend to set a boundary, but then not hold it, get an accountability buddy and/or set alarms with yourself to check in on how you’re doing with implementing the strategies you’ve picked.

• Eat lunch away from your desk/phone/computer. No more sad desk salads. Food is one of the greatest joys we can experience in this life (no? just my foodie opinion?) but apart from that, we’re not meant to be tethered to our desks for 8 hours/day. I listened to a fascinating podcast by Dr Huberman and he speaks to ultradian cycles when prepping a new workshop “Retraining Our Brains and Attention Spans” for a Boston corporate wellness client. The takeaway is this: our brains actually max out at 90 minute work cycles - and even that length is a stretch for our focus at first. Whether you want to nerd out on the science or not, it’s there, and it says you’re more productive if you walk away and take that break.  

• If you need boundaries between yourself and people, here’s a post I wrote on 6 Strategies to protect your energy around negative people

There are plenty of other strategies I recommend in my 1-1 coaching and workshops, but sometimes less is more so I’ll leave you with these.

If you want to try one and/or you already have something that you know helps but you’ve fallen out of the habit, I can’t recommend the book Atomic Habits by James Clear enough!

What’s your favorite way to separate work and home? What boundaries have you created that have created more harmony in your life?

Texting and Typing a lot? Simple Stretches to Show Your Wrists Some Love

International Day of Yoga was in June, and what better way to celebrate than with moving our bodies.

We know the importance and benefits of keeping active and maintaining joint mobility, but most of us don’t pay attention to how tiny repetitive movements impact our physical health.

Most of us spend hours every day texting and typing, but how often do we take care of our wrists which bear the brunt of those movements?

Practicing small exercises daily can improve your wrist mobility, ease tension, and prevent future injuries. This short but effective video shows you some simple stretches you can do anywhere, any time.

I often teach micro-movement breaks like this at companies (it’s especially a welcome pause during a long all-hands or off-site meeting!). It’s a joy to show employees how accessible taking care of our bodies can be, even in a full workday.

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A post shared by Career Coach+Wellness Speaker (@aspirewithaileen)

Let me know if you have any questions!

If you’d like more simple ways of counteracting the aches and pains that come with sitting and stress, you can grab my complimentary guide here.

Job Search Stress... and How to Effectively Manage It!

April was Stress Awareness Month, but around here we talk about managing stress on a regular basis!

I hope you enjoy this conversation and get what you need to reduce stress and land work you love!

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A post shared by Becca Carnahan | Career Coach (@with_love_becca)

One major contributor to stress for many people is their jobs (where we spend about 1/3 of our lives).

For some, the job search process itself is one of the most challenging experiences they have in their professional world.

The stress can arise from any number of parts of the process, and manifests in several ways. I’m guessing that if you’ve ever been on a job search, at any time in your life, you know the stress that it can bring!

These are some of the most common questions I have seen stress out job seekers:

• What do I want to do in my career / what kind of job do I want?

• What type of organization will have a culture that aligns with my interests and needs?

• What am I qualified for?

• What do I even write on my resume?

• Do I need a cover letter?

• How do I actually spend my time in my job search and what do I need to do to hear back from employers?

• How do I connect my experiences and relay it clearly in an interview?

• When and how can I follow up with someone after interviewing?

• How do I negotiate the salary in an offer?

…and more!

When I work with clients, I not only help them with these tactical topics, but I make sure we address their overall stress management in life.

We explore how they can take care of themselves to have the energy and ability to execute on all of the components that make up a successful job search strategy.

I sat down (virtually!) with my wonderful colleague Becca Carnahan to talk about some of the ways to manage job search stress. It’s always such a joy to connect with my career coaching colleagues and see all of the ways that job seekers can get the support they need.

3 Benefits of Working with a Career Coach

You might think this post is going to be very biased since I’ve been a career coach for well over a decade now.

While of course I can’t remove that lens, I know what it’s like to be on the other side of the table, too!

It was through working with a career coach myself back in 2005 that I discovered this path.

I was at a crossroads. I realized I didn’t want to be a teacher – something I worked towards for almost 4 years of college already, and my go-to reply whenever anyone asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”.

Feeling completely overwhelmed and stuck, and then finding my way after working with this coach, was an incredibly formative experience. What I learned from being a career coaching client myself is influencing what I’m sharing here as well.

This post is aiming to answer a lot of the common questions I see when prospective clients originally reach out to me for a complimentary consultation. There is often a period of a lot of stress, nerves, or anxiety before people end up reaching out, so my goal is to provide tons of information so no matter which coach you explore working with, you have a good sense of things and feel more excited than nervous 😊

With all of that in mind, let’s get into 3 of the benefits of working with a career coach!

1) You get to talk about yourself with an un-biased person who has your best interests in mind

When you’re working with a coach, you’ll notice a difference in the way they listen to you compared to how it feels when your friends and family listen (no offense, friends and fam!).

Not only will they be fully engaged, attentive, and attuned to what you’re saying, they’ll ask lots of follow up questions to dig deeper and learn more. In addition to this open and mindful listening, a coach has no ulterior motives steering them to encourage you to make a particular decision.

In fact, most coaches won’t even tell you what decision to even make! They’ll reflect back what you’ve shared, what they have heard you articulate as your values, interests, and drivers, and help you to connect the dots you may be too close to the situation to see.

Their true goal is to help you feel empowered, informed, confident, and supported enough to make a decision that feels right to you based on what matters in your life. A coach can help you see the forest from the trees when you’ve potentially gotten caught up in the opinions of others, which are usually well-intentioned but clouded by the values of those people.

Here is how a former client of mine shared how this felt for her:

“While Aileen is amazing in so many ways, I think one of her most outstanding qualities is her ability to listen. Aileen never told me the job she thought I should want - she always made sure that my career decisions reflected my passions and aspirations.” – Megan Quill

I’ve had previous clients joke with me that they feel like I’m their therapist, which is (definitely not what career coaching is!) so flattering as it illustrates just how heard and supported clients can feel when working with a coach.

2) They hold you accountable

This may be the most valuable benefit of working with a career coach!

For some people, having an external source of accountability as they work towards a goal in their lives can make or break their progress.

You may know this about yourself already, but if you’re wondering whether or not you’re one of those people – or if you just want to learn more about the kind of structure that enables you to maintain momentum when working on something – I highly recommend taking the four tendencies quiz by Gretchen Rubin.

If you’re curious about diving into the four tendencies more, you can read this article about how understanding your tendency can help you improve your life. Gretchen has also been on countless podcasts and written many other articles in addition to her books.

Image is from https://gretchenrubin.com/podcast-episode/podcast-120-happier-four-tendencies/

I’m an “obliger,” which is the most common tendency, and Gretchen states that “Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations. They’re motivated by external accountability; they wake up and think, “What must I do today?”

I can know that I need and want to move my body, but if I don’t sign up for a yoga or barre class, I’m much less likely to do it. I can know that I need to take time to focus on marketing my business, but not do it until I work with a marketing consultant who is checking in on my deadlines and progress.

(Yes, I’m a coach who basically loves having coaches herself!)

This is part of why we see group fitness classes, personal trainers, business coaches and more being so popular – for most areas of life there is likely a solution that involves creating external accountability for it.

When you work with a career coach, you have a dedicated person invested in your professional success who is there to give you the tools and create the structure needed for you to succeed. That accountability stops the cycle that is common for countless people - wanting to prioritize your career development but often having it fall at the bottom of your to-do list because life gets in the way.

When I work with my career coaching clients, I ask them what kind of accountability feels good for them. Questions I ask most often include:

• Do you want to set a deadline to do these action items by and if I haven’t heard from you by then I’ll check in?

• Would you prefer to schedule our next session, so you force yourself to have to have updates by then and see a goal on the calendar?

Every person, their style, and their life circumstances look different, so I meet each person wherever they are based on the kind of support that makes them feel good.

If you know you thrive when there is external accountability, what areas of your life have you implemented this and how has it helped you move forward?

3) They offer reliable resources and bring structure to a structureless process

Another benefit of working with a career coach is having a reliable, knowledgeable go-to source to answer all the million questions that come up throughout your job search. Questions such as:

• What should be on my resume vs my cover letter? Do I really need to write a cover letter? How long should a cover letter be? And Who do I address my cover letter to?

• I haven’t updated my resume in forever… what do you even put on them anymore?

• How do I follow up with an employer after an interview if I haven’t heard anything?

• What’s the best way to prepare for an interview?

• How do I answer the “what’s a weakness” or “tell me about yourself” questions?

• I have a LinkedIn profile but I haven’t updated it in years and I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do on there anyway… help?

• Is it okay to negotiate the salary offer?

• I got an offer from one company but I’m waiting to hear back from another that I like more... what do I do?

Instead of spending hours googling the answers, and getting lots of conflicting advice, you have an expert in your back pocket. Moreso, someone who understands you, your background, and your personality so they’ll tell you the best practices but also help create some workarounds if a typical approach doesn’t align with your comfort zone.

Additionally, many people feel overwhelmed when job searching. They’re not sure where to start to create a job search strategy, what to focus on, and how to spend their energy efficiently to get the best momentum and results. They may come out of the gate strong but then if they’re hearing crickets after applying they aren’t sure what to do next.

Working with a career coach will help you create structure and efficiency in an often structureless process, so you can get results, and, get back to the rest of your life.

Now that we’ve exhaustively covered the top 3 benefits of working with a career coach, let’s delve into what it actually looks like to work with someone.

What to expect when working with a career coach

One of the most common questions I get from people is “So… what… does... it actually look like?! What do we really do if we were to work together?”

Which always makes me think of this scene from Office Space:

The answer depends on two things:

1. you and your unique situation and

2. the coach

In my practice, if you’re in a good groove and just want an extra pair of eyes on some application documents, a refresh on job search strategy or interviewing, and a sounding board, I typically recommend we focus on 1-1 appointments. These are done via zoom, phone, or in person as you feel necessary.

This means I’m here when you need or want to connect, cheering you on and checking in in the ways you’ve said feel good for you, but we don’t have a regular standing meeting filling your calendar.

If, on the other hand, you’re feeling rusty on all things job search, overwhelmed with how to proceed, and/or know you thrive with more support and accountability, I supplement those 1-1 sessions with “on demand coaching.”

I created five comprehensive learning modules with an arsenal of resources (videos of me teaching you what you need to know, workbooks, templates, guides) for each step in the road – figuring out your path, updating resumes and cover letters, LinkedIn, interviewing, taking care of yourself while doing this work, and more.

With instant access to this kind of coaching, you can chip away at your job search on your own time (no schedules to coordinate!) and then we end up being able to dig deeper in our 1-1 coaching time together. To make it manageable, based on where you’re at, I’ll get specific with your “homework” and point you to the resource/module to start with and then we plug away together from there.

Clients have access to this for life, and my whole ethos is that I’d rather teach you how to write an effective resume vs do it for you so you don’t need me again! Most people change jobs a good number of times in their life, so I believe it’s powerful to equip each person with the tools they need to feel supported in future job transitions as well.

The nitty gritty of what coaching looks like can be very different, so I always encourage people to shop around and ensure they find a coach that feels like the best fit for them, their personality, and their needs.

This brings me to my final point – how to find coaches, and what to do if you want to dip your toe into more self-guided work in this space before/instead of reaching out to someone.

How to find a coach + ways to explore working on this yourself

I always do a complimentary phone consultation with anyone interested in working together. I do this to not only make sure they feel like I’m the right person for them, but I also want to make sure I feel like I have the right skills, approach, and background for what kind of support they need.

If I don’t think I’m the best coach for the job, I typically refer prospective clients to my trusted colleagues and friends in the field, helping me feel confident that they’re in good hands.

I also always recommend that people explore free coaching options, especially if budgets are tight. Most people are surprised when I tell them that if they studied somewhere for an undergraduate degree, there are often a number of free resources (including coaching sessions at times!) available to them through the Career Services office. This typically is not heavily advertised, so I recommend people reach out via phone/email to the center directly to ask. Often there are 1-3 sessions for free for graduates, and/or access to internal job search resources.

Lastly, one of the most frequent recommendations I give to people exploring making a change in their professional lives is the book “Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life.” This is an incredible resource filled with hands-on activities for building self-awareness and deepening your understanding of what work means to you and what might be exciting to integrate into your next opportunity.

I hope that this comprehensive post not only helps you understand some benefits of working with a career coach, but also gives you tools to find someone that is right for you to work together towards achieving your professional goals.

Here’s to feeling supported in the process of doing more of what you love, no matter what that is!

5 Signs It's Time to Look for a New Job

I’ve been career coaching since 2007 (!) and have worked with people of all ages and backgrounds. There are common themes that arise after having so many conversations with people when they’re exploring a change in their professional lives.

While of course every person and situation is different, I often see these five signs. Use them as one tool to evaluate your career satisfaction – how many are true for you?

1. You’re bored

Have you noticed that projects that used to excite you don’t anymore? Perhaps the tasks that make up most of your work lead you to dread your workday or even roll your eyes when you see the email request come in?

While these don’t mean you need to kick a job search into action, they are indicators that your innate desires to continually learn, grow, and challenge yourself are not being met. Note which types of tasks may still excite you and see if you can speak with your supervisor or colleague to get more of those in the mix.

If it’s not possible, that is information to take into consideration when assessing whether your current role and employer is still a fit or not.

2. You don’t see any room for growth

(Can present as “I don’t want my boss’s job”).

For some time in your professional life, you may be very goal oriented. For certain people this looks like wanting to work towards a particular job title or scope of responsibility. For others, it’s more nuanced, and is more about wanting to continue to be in positions where they acquire new skills and are pushed outside of their comfort zones.

If that’s you, and the role you’re in isn’t providing continued opportunities to hone existing and/or acquire new skills, that may not feel like a good fit.

Of course, before simply jumping to the next organization, it makes sense to have candid conversations with your organization about making this happen. Sometimes all it takes is an ask!

To note, for people who are at a certain point in their careers and/or lives, this may not be a dealbreaker. For some people, once they’re reached a particular point in their professional lives, they don’t want to keep climbing and moving onto the next. This is not my nice way of saying “once you’re older you stop wanting to grow” either!

It can happen at any age when you’ve found work that aligns with your values, interests, personality, skills, and fits well with your personal life. Bigger offices, more pay, and shinier titles are not what it’s all about for many people… these days more than ever.

3. You’re not using the skills you thought you’d get to use

This one is often a stand-alone reason why people end up leaving their current role.

This can happen in a few ways – perhaps it’s a startup or a new position, and what the company anticipated the role requiring didn’t end up being what was needed. Or, someone may start off with a role looking one way, and then it evolves into something different due to staffing changes or simply because that’s where the organization is headed.

It can feel very disappointing no matter the circumstances. You’ll notice a theme, though, with the tips I shared above.

Especially in a culture where growth and changes are happening in the organization at an exponential rate, this may be something management has simply overlooked vs a sign they don’t care about you. An option is to reach out to your manager and ask to get some time on their calendar to discuss the scope of your work – giving them a heads up to prime the conversation can often yield a more productive chat.

4. You often find yourself daydreaming or wondering about what’s next

…maybe even during planning meetings at your current company.

If this is happening – noticing a strong disconnect when your colleagues are looking at the future – it is a big piece of data potentially pointing to disinterest in your current professional whereabouts.

Other ways I often hear this start off…

 “I’m happy where I am but I just started scrolling through jobs on LinkedIn...”

“It’s fine where I am but… I’m starting to wonder what else is out there.”

“I’ve always known the next step in my career, but now I’m not sure what I’m going to do… I just know it’s not this.”

Let me clarify – daydreaming alone does not mean it’s time to make a change, but if you’re noticing this internal pull to do something else, something different, and this innate sense of longing or wondering “what else?” – that is information to pay attention to and explore deeper.

5. You feel burnt out or misaligned

A toxic work environment, not gelling with the company culture, not believing in the organization’s mission… these are some of the top contributors to employee burnout.

We spend over 1/3 of our lives at work, so if you’re not being treated well or feeling a sense of purpose connected to how you’re spending the majority of your time, especially now as work bleeds into home life, it takes a toll.

This comes down to personal preference, but for many people, they want to work where they feel there is alignment and where they are valued. Employee burnout can also come from that lack of using skills you want, as discussed above, so it’s important to clarify where this energy drain comes from so you can create a clear path forward.

Are any of these resonating with you?

If you’re noodling on making a change, or maybe have even been trying to make one but not getting traction, I’m here to chat over a complimentary consultation should you need some support.

Here’s to finding more flow in our work!

Designing Your Life + Giveaway!

I’m starting the week with a way to make your future workweeks more enjoyable!

Over the last 10+ years of career coaching, I've had many people come to me because they disliked the work they did but had no idea how to figure out what they'd enjoy more. This usually came with fear around making the "wrong" choice, and a lot of overwhelm.

I still meet people who feel this way every week, and I've found that this is the book I'm constantly recommending as a starting point. It has lots of practical exercises and prompts to help people move from feeling stuck to taking productive action.

I've had clients call this book "life changing" so I'm giving away a new copy to hopefully positively impact the life of the winner!

To enter, head over to my Instagram page and follow the simple prompts (*This giveaway is now closed*).

If you’re not interested in the giveaway but you're not feeling fulfilled by your work, here's part of the model I use with clients to help them brainstorm/assess other options. I encourage you to stop asking friends or googling "jobs in <insert your location>" when trying to make a change - start with YOU.

When you find something that aligns with your VIPS, that's when it all clicks.

To be clear, I don't think a "perfect career" exists - every job will have tasks you'd rather not do or things you don't love, even if you work for yourself. But, as cliche as it sounds, when you love what you do, work feels less like work. You’re also less likely to experience chronic stress and burnout.

How might you take some time to pause and reflect on these parts of yourself?

It may seem simple, but it can help you get a better sense of where your dissatisfaction is coming from and also have a framework to evaluate new options.

Happy exploring!

What's Your Weakness?

In the 10 years I've spent helping people move from feeling nervous to confident before interviewing, this is often the questions that's most dreaded by my clients. 

When asked "Describe a weakness of yours?" it's important to first and foremost think about WHY the employer is asking you the question.

What do they actually care about and hope to learn?

This video will discuss what the question within the question is here, as well as three strategies for structuring your answer. For a complete guide to answering this, along with the "Tell me about yourself" question, you can download my free guide to the two most dreaded interview questions here.

You can also grab more free interviewing tips here, and how to answer negative interview questions here. I LOVE doing mock interviews, so if you're ready to get out of your comfort zone and practice, reach out for a free consult to set yours up!
 

Today's video is going to focus on how to answer everyone's least favorite interview question, which is to “describe a weakness of yours.” We're going to go through what this question is really asking, as well as what the most effective strategies to answer it are. 

Let's begin with actually dissecting what this question is really all about. A lot of my clients get frustrated or confused about why this question even gets asked. They think it's kind of a silly one to cover in an interview. What the question is really asking is, “Are you self-aware? Do you think you're perfect? Or do you know that there are some areas where you can work on and improve the skills and qualifications that you have?”

The second part of the question within this question is employers are trying to get a sense of if you're really picturing yourself in this role or not. If you give an answer that actually is a skill that has something to do with the position, it can showcase to the employer, you're picturing yourself in the role and really thinking through where you might have the ability to succeed and hit the ground running.

Conversely, what is an area where you would need a little bit more training? Those are the actual questions within the question, and that should give you a better sense of what employers are really looking for in their responses. 

Now, let's talk about the three strategies to use when answering this question in an interview. First things first, do not answer with an example, a skill, or a piece about yourself; that's a deal-breaker. For example, if the role says you need really strong Excel skills, and you don't have them, that's definitely not something you want to emphasize proactively. Another thing you want to avoid is any character flaws. If you have a tendency to run late, this is not something you want to seek out to share with your employer.

Strategy number two we’ll cover is you will want to think through and focus on if there is part of a job description that says desirable or preferable skills. This would be a really safe space to focus your answer on highlighting your skills compared to what the employer has posted on the job description.

For example, if they're talking about proficiency in certain software, highlight your proficiency in that system. If it's something you could learn quickly, or that you perhaps have demonstrated an aptitude for by learning in different related software, you could showcase that in your answer.

This brings me to the third strategy for answering the “Tell me about a weakness or describe your biggest weakness question.” The number one thing any answer, regardless of what you're focusing on saying should include is what you're doing, have been doing or will be doing to improve upon said weakness. An employer is not just looking for self-awareness, but also the ability to grow, develop and prioritize personal or professional development. 

If public speaking is the weakness you're going to emphasize, then you can talk about how this is an area you're working to improve upon. If you've proactively sought out speaking opportunities, or even taking a Dale Carnegie or a public speaking class, those would be things you would want to emphasize in your interview. Be sure to conclude your answer by saying, “These are the things I'm doing to improve upon this and I feel confident I will continue to develop in this area.”

This concludes my biggest tips for understanding both what the weakness question is really about, as well as the strategies to use to answer this in the most realistic, thoughtful, and thorough way for the employer. 

Thanks for watching, and if you have any other questions on this topic, feel free to leave me a note in the comment section, or download my free guide to interviewing to get you as prepared as possible for this exciting time.

How to Create an Effective Job Search Strategy

There are many common missteps that happen when trying to land a job. Submitting applications and never hearing back or refreshing your inbox every few minutes to find out whether or not you have been selected can certainly make you feel helpless.

Learn how to use a simple, two-pronged, proactive approach to feel energized and empowered instead. The more you operate from this position of strength when searching, the more motivated you'll be to take time to do the work AND you'll have more energy to do other things you love.

When creating a job search strategy, it's important to keep two things in mind. You want to have both proactive and reactive goals as part of your approach. In this video, I'm going to define what those are and how to create a really effective strategy to manage your job search with confidence and to feel empowered in the process. 

Let's talk about reactive goals first because this is where I find most people spend the majority of their time. When I talk about reactive goals as being part of your job search strategy, what I mean is just reacting to things that are coming your way. The most common area where I see this is people just applying to positions they see posted online or they're getting job alerts for. While this can be a helpful part of the process, it is not where you should spend the majority of your energy. But that is how most people end up navigating their jobs or when they're approaching it on their own. 

The reason I don't recommend spending all of your time here is that sometimes positions get posted, and they've actually been filled already, or there is another candidate in mind. So when we see them posted we think, “Great, I'm starting at the front of the line,” but realistically, there might be other people who are already being considered ahead of you. If you're spending all of your time and energy justifying to those, it means you're missing a lot of opportunities. You want to be the person that is at the front of the line, and in consideration before something even gets posted. 

This brings me to the proactive approach to goal setting when you're navigating a job search. Being proactive or setting proactive goals, is referring to networking. I know this is not everyone's favorite activity, and there's a lot of stigma and generalizations made around networking. So to kind of counteract, I want to talk about what I mean by that. While your longer-term goal is to land a job, the networking I'm talking about is focusing on your shorter-term goal.

It's important to learn about the roles that exist in the field you're targeting. One should learn what skills are really valued and would make you stand out from your competition. Then ask questions from people in positions that you're targeting like how they landed them, what was the hiring process, what were the interviews like, etc? Focus on building connections and relationships more authentically. It’s so much more than just approaching networking, like many people think, which is “Hi, are there any openings? And can you make sure my resume gets to the top of the pile?” When you shift your perspective to think about networking in this mindset of really learning and building connections, it will help you incorporate more of these strategies into your search. 

A quick fact I’d like to share with you is over 80% of people land positions through networking. So if you're spending your time 80% on the reactive side, and 20% networking; I'd invite you to flip flop that. I'd rather see you spend way more energy building relationships and learning how to make yourself stand out than just blindly submitting applications online. 

One other note on the reactive side is I'm making the assumption you're really tailoring your application materials with each position. Many employers are using artificial intelligence to scan your materials before they even make it to a human being to vet your qualifications. If you're not taking those extra minutes to make sure you're connecting the dots for the employers, then you're spending even more time and energy on things that are not most productive to the process.

Hopefully, this helps you create more of a clear-cut approach to navigating your job search. Each week, I invite you to spend time on both the proactive and reactive goals so you can feel like you're not just waiting to see openings come up. We're also not just waiting to hear back from people for informational interviews. This approach is a more holistic way to ensure that you feel empowered in the process, and you always have some actions to be taking instead of refreshing your inbox every five minutes and waiting for other people. 

I hope you find some value in the lessons I shared today. If you have any questions on your job search, feel free to leave a note in the comments or reach out for a free 30-minute consultation. I'd be happy to be a sounding board and hear what you've been doing in your strategy and see if there's room for any improvement. 

Thanks for watching, and best of luck in your job search.

3 Ways to Make Your Resume Stronger

There are three things that every resume should aim to do, regardless of your level of experience, or which industry or position is at hand. These are tools which will help you maximize the way employers and recruiters scan through your document, ensuring you can get as much information across in as short of an amount of time as possible. 

This quick video will walk you through each of these tips! 

If you're ready for more information, here are two related blog posts with more resume tips, or reach out for a free consultation to ask questions specific to your situation:

• Simple Resume Writing Tips

• My Favorite Resume Loophole

When you're writing your resume, there are three things you want to do, regardless of what industry or position you're applying to. Those three things are to start with strong action verbs, be as results-oriented as possible, and quantify when possible. In this video, I'll go into more detail about what I mean by each of those things. 

The first tip is to start with strong action verbs. I highly recommend using bullets on a resume instead of using the paragraph format when describing experience due to employers only may have time to give your resume a very quick scan. Using a paragraph format is really, really dense to read. 

When using bullet points, start each experience listed with one strong action verb. Phrases you want to avoid using are, responsible for or assisted because they lead the employer to assume you're about to give a laundry list of unimportant information, or that you didn't contribute much assistance at all. If you used the word “assisted” because you weren’t the only one working on the project, you can add you were doing the task with a team or in collaboration with a colleague. 

Starting with a strong action verb will give the employer the opportunity to get valuable information in a short amount of time. If you have trouble thinking of action verbs, a lot of career service offices have resume guides, with a whole laundry list of strong verbs to use. When in doubt, don’t forget to utilize a thesaurus.

The second thing every resume should have is the tendency to be result-oriented. If you scan through your resume as it is now, I guarantee you have what's called a “so what” bullet. A “so what” bullet is where you're describing something you did, but the reader is left wondering,
“so what” was the point of that? What was the intention or goal? What impact did that have on the place of employment? 

Be sure to add a lot more value by talking about what the purpose or the intention of your activity was, and what it was used for. Another important thing to note here is that some people have bullets like this because they left an employer or a job without seeing the project through. And that's okay! You can still add value by talking about what the intended goal or result was, and what your actions were used to contribute to. I invite you to look through your resume and look line by line and see if there's any room to add a bit more results-oriented context to your experiences. 

The third thing every resume should do is quantify when possible. Numbers really stand out in a resume, and they can also show more of a description or more gravity to what you're doing. For example, if you delivered presentations to classes talking about X, Y and Z, that's great to list, but it has a lot more impact if you say something like “I delivered presentations to up to 500 attendees discussing X, Y, and Z. Understand it's not always possible to add numbers, but if you've been in a sales role and you exceeded goals, brought in a certain amount of revenue, or worked on deals, those are all places where you can add some of these numerical pieces of data to showcase to an employer the scope of your work. 

And that's it! Those are the three biggest things you should do on every resume, regardless of what industry field or type of role you're applying to. If you have other questions about resumes, feel free to leave me a note in the comments below. And if any of your friends are working on their resumes or job searches, feel free to share this video with them as well.

What Should You Include on Your Resume versus Cover Letter?

One of the biggest sources of frustration when writing a cover letter is trying to decide what information is most relevant to include for employers. Many people wonder if they're allowed to repeat information that's on their resume, and others wonder how much detail to go into overall.

This video will walk you through an exercise that will help you determine what employers want to read in cover letters, and how to assess which parts of your background are most important to include.

The even better news? The activity I recommend in this video is also an incredible way to prep for interviews, too! 

Today we're going to be talking all about the differences between what material goes on your resume versus your cover letter. I think this is one of the areas where people get most frustrated or confused when they start trying to write a cover letter. Often times it's because they have no idea what the point of it is, what information makes sense to repeat, and what can just be left on the resume. So that's what we're going to focus on today!

When you're going to write a cover letter, I recommend you go back to the job description and do a little activity to ensure all of your materials are as tailored and applicable to that job as possible. This exercise is something you can do in editing your resume as well. I recommend printing out the job description, or copying, pasting it, and putting it into a Word doc. The reason I suggest this is because when an employer goes to interview candidates, sometimes they remove the listing. If you don't have a copy for your records, you're going to have to ask for it, which can just add another complicated step to the process. 

Most relevant to this exercise is I really want you to sit down and dissect the job description. Don't just look at the qualifications or the skills, which is what many people do, but slowly work your way through the entire document to notice what themes the employer is bringing up. They might be talking about having to work in a fast-paced environment, and the culture being really innovative and new, and that's in the company blurb. Then you move on to the job description where you may see there are similar sentiments shown. It will be beneficial to you to look for the same tasks or qualifications repeated throughout the listing. If it’s repeated throughout the listing, that’s when you know it's a really critical part of what they're looking for in a candidate. Based on that exercise, you can now look at what is most relevant and important to emphasize about yourself in both your resume and your cover letter.

Let's go back to the original question, which is what should stay just on the resume versus the cover letter. When you're doing an exercise of walking through, and really breaking down the job description to notice what themes exist, and how your background and skills align. You will most likely have what I call “aha!” moments. These are moments where an employer is describing a skill set that they have or are a part of a role, and you think, “Oh, that's exactly what I've done in this position, or that's exactly what my job is right now.” In those moments, when you notice there's such a strong connection between what they're looking for and what you have. It's important to make a note that that is exactly what should go into your cover letter. That's really critical information! This section should be the real meat or the biggest part of what you're emphasizing. 

Secondly, anything else repeated in the job description and the qualifications correlating to your skillset should tie into your cover letter in a more narrative. When in doubt, your resume should have certain keywords, verbs, or consistent phrasing that is coming up in the job description.  Remember, your cover letter is the chance to really go into more detail about an example of a skill you have that maybe only got half of a bullet in terms of the description on your resume. If there's a volunteer experience or something that isn't on your resume, but it's one of those “aha” moments, your cover letter is the perfect chance to go into detail and describe exactly what that is. 

I hope this helps give clarification about what makes sense to keep on your resume and what you really need to give more attention to in your cover letter. If you have any other questions, feel free to drop them in the comments section or reach out for a free 30-minute consultation. Thanks for watching and have a great day.

If you found that helpful, keep learning how to craft cover letters that convert through my step-by-step guide!

How Long Should A Cover Letter Be?

One of my goals for 2018 is to create more video content, knowing that people have different learning styles and also feel more connected when they can see the person they're learning from. 

...truthfully, this was a goal for 2017 but I procrastinated because while I love presenting, shooting and editing videos of myself is a totally different experience! I know I'll get more comfortable and my true personality will come out more with time, so I'm honoring this growth period and not letting perfection be the enemy of good. 

So without further adieu. here is my first video (outside of my online coaching program)! It's called "How Long Should A Cover Letter Be?" and you can view it through clicking below.

When helping people with their job search, one of the most common questions I get asked is, “How long should my cover letter be?” If you want more information on the pros and cons of writing a cover letter, I'm happy to share with you my free cover letter writing guide. 

For today, we're going to focus on the length of a cover letter. When you're writing the letter, you want to keep in mind you only have a really short amount of time to deliver a lot of valuable content to the employer because they read your application materials so quickly. With that in mind, knowing you have only a short period of time to deliver valuable information to an employer about why you're the best fit for the role, your cover letter should never be longer than one page. Also, it shouldn't come close to the bottom of the page either. Let’s discuss a little bit more about the structure of the letter so you can get a better sense of what really goes into it. 

In your first paragraph, and I say that loosely because it's only a sentence or two long, should cover what position you're applying for and how you found out about it. This section is where you would name drop if there was someone referring you, or someone you did an informational interview to include a quick summary sentence talking about what you're going to discuss in the rest of your letter. 

For example, you could say “I'm writing to apply for X, Y, Z role, and I found out about it after Bob Smith referred me to this opportunity. The combination of my x y, and z skills coupled with my A, B, and C, makes me a great fit for this position.”

Then you get into the next, the second and third paragraph, which is what I call the meat of your cover letter. So this is where you're really thinking strategically about what is most important about you and your background to emphasize to an employer. It should not be a regurgitation of what's on your resume. It's more of a narrative approach to maybe fleshing out an example or a story that showcases multiple qualifications you have for the role. 

The most important part of a letter that most people leave out is why you want to work for that organization. It doesn't have to be again a verbose thing. It can be a short and sweet sentence or two, explaining what about this organization and what they do is unique and why that makes you want to deliver and use your skills for them in this role in particular. 

So hopefully this helps you get a little bit more clarity on the length, as well as the structure of your cover letter writing. If you have any questions feel free to shoot me a note or download my cover letter writing guide posted in the comments below.

If you learn better through reading, you can see this information in my previous cover letter blog posts or my free comprehensive guide. If you have questions, leave a note in the video comments! 

How To Figure Out Your Career Path

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”

— Aristotle

When evaluating career paths, it can be tempting to look everywhere but inside of yourself for the answers. Common questions that come up when exploring ideas are: What’s valued by society? What does my family think? Hey, Google- what pays the most and where’s the growth? Which companies are rated the best to work for?

While some of the information than can be gleaned from these questions can be useful, it’s wildly ineffective to start there.

Why?

If you’re asking “What career path should I pursue?” and want the world to curate an answer that’s specifically relevant to you, you’re going to be disappointed. Searching in this broad, unfocused, and generic manner will make you extremely overwhelmed, as occupational options are endless. “One estimate suggests that 65% of children entering primary school today will ultimately end up working in completely new job types that aren’t on our radar yet.” (source)

Use self-understanding to find a job that's the right fit. Get your guide here.

Additionally, you know yourself better than anyone else.

Slowing down, turning inward, and getting more clarity on your values, interests, personality, and skills (VIPS), and how those align with potential career paths, is an incredibly valuable place to start.

Many people get to this point, but then get overwhelmed by how to do this self-reflection. What questions do you ask? How do you think through your interests and different career options?

Knowing this, and that many people like to work through some of this on their own instead of or before working with a coach, I I created a comprehensive 20-page self-assessment guide. It's a combination of open-ended questions tapping into your values and interests, along with more formal assessments like the SkillScan. It wraps up with resources and an action plan for you to have concrete steps to move forward with your exploration.

In my 10 years of coaching people, I've found that the more clear people are on their VIPS, the more certain they are about their career paths, and the happier they are in their work. Start with finding your why, and then the rest of the answers will come.

I hope this helps you in your journey towards finding work you love!