How One Employee Transformed a Wellness Training into Everyday Kindness

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I recently had the opportunity to support an HR team onsite and it was with an organization that I do company-wide well-being programming for. I had done a program called the Science of Kindness, only a couple months prior. While I was at the organization, I used the restroom. When I went to wash my hands, I saw this basket there, and it had all these different products, and it said: “Use what you want, take extra time to take good care of yourself, and leave things for other people.”

Next to the basket was a sign that said “Year of Kindness” and it had an employee's name. I ended up going and talking with that employee and she shared that she had attended that Science of Kindness training and that it really impacted her and inspired her to do more good for both herself as well as for those around her. She shared that it really made a difference in her life.

This is my dream in action. Whether speaking at a large conference or with a small team onsite, I never want people to simply think, ‘Oh, that’s interesting,’ and then go back to life as usual. I want them to feel inspired and empowered to incorporate these tools well beyond our time together.

In every session, I offer multiple tools with the hope that each person walks away with at least one that really resonates and feels applicable to their life beyond our time together. Each time I hear that someone has taken action, it’s a powerful reminder that we all have the ability to create positive change for both ourselves and for those around us.

Learn more about signature programs and speaking style: https://www.aspirewithaileen.com/corporate-wellness

If you're ready to book a consultation to discuss your speaker needs: https://aspirewithaileencalendar.as.me/corporatewellness

Tech Boundaries

Ever find yourself doing the "just one more scroll" dance at midnight? Or perhaps you've mastered the art of the "five-minute email check" that mysteriously transforms into an hour-long digital rabbit hole? Don't worry—you're in good company!

Most of us have experienced that moment of shock wondering "Where did the time go?" as we emerge from a tech trance.

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If you feel like there's not enough time in the day, here are some strategies to create different relationships with technology to improve that feeling. So the first step is we have to be self-aware. Get a sense of your screen time statistics, but not just for your phone. Check out your relationship with your laptop as well.

Now I know for different people, there's different realities of how possible it is or doable it is to close the laptop, give it a bedtime. But for some of us, we can explore hmm, is there room to create a little bit more of a boundary and say, this is the bedtime for the laptop, this is the bedtime for my phone, and create some space for yourself in those ways. The second thing is when we integrate any tool to elicit behavior change when it comes to our devices, know that these things are addictive. Habit change is also very hard. So understand that willpower will wane at a certain point. When it happens and that tool or strategy loses its impact, the key is to recognize, hey, you're human, and then try something new.

Salary No No

In today's job market, there's a persistent question that haunts many job seekers: When is the right time to discuss salary during the interview process? While pay transparency laws are gradually reshaping the landscape, many job seekers still find themselves navigating murky waters when it comes to compensation discussions. The conventional wisdom of "never bring up salary first" might seem outdated in today’s world, but there's more nuance to this advice than meets the eye. Let's dive into why timing and leverage matter when discussing your worth with potential employers, and how to strategically approach this delicate conversation in a way that maximizes your negotiating power.

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This might be controversial, but no, do not bring up salary in a job interview. So the good news is hopefully this video will be outdated sooner than later with new pay transparency laws coming into effect in different states. And, hopefully the way of the future is that everyone always just shares the salary range in a job description. But for the world we're living in now, sometimes we have no idea what the salary will be. And I completely understand that you want to be intentional about your time and energy, but you don't want to bring up the number first because you don't have leverage in that instance. A lot of times organizations are now asking you your salary requirements in earlier stages of interviewing. So you definitely want to be prepared with doing your research and having that band or that range, but you never want to bring it up first. You want them to want you and see you as the best candidate first, and then get that leverage before bringing up salary.

Translating Experience to Resume

Crafting a resume that truly reflects your skills and achievements can feel daunting, especially when writer’s block strikes.

But don’t worry! In this post, we’ll explore two simple yet powerful strategies to help you break through the mental roadblocks and turn your day-to-day tasks and accomplishments into polished, professional resume language.

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Maybe the most common question I've received over the last 15 years of career coaching is, how do I translate my experience onto my resume? Two strategies for you. One, a lot of times we get in our own heads and we get writer's block when going to write a resume. So get out of the computer screen, close the apps, and instead imagine that you're speaking with a friend or a career coach, and they're just asking you, hey, talk about your day to day. What do you really do? What are some things you accomplished? Or you can even look at your calendar for the last couple of months and let those events, those deadlines that you've put on there remind you of what you've done. You can use a voice memo recorder or dictate and then from there we can polish that up into resume language and jargon. Second strategy, just look at the job descriptions for the roles that you're targeting. Let their language remind you of what you've done and then align your language to match that.

Hope that these strategies help you get your writer's block away.

Adding an Answer After an Interview

It’s happened to the best of us: You’re walking out of an interview or reflecting on it hours later when suddenly, a better answer or example comes to mind—one that could have showcased your skills and qualifications even more effectively. While this can be frustrating, there’s a professional and strategic way to handle it.

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What do you do if you're interviewing for a job and you think of an answer or an experience of yours after the interview that could actually better showcase your skills and qualifications for that role? So of course you don't want to do this after every round of an interview, but sometimes this does happen because our brains are much more capable of having that creative problem solving and thinking when they're not under stress. So if it happens to you a few minutes or hours after an interview where you think of a better example, and especially if it's not reflected in your resume or application materials, here's what you do:

When you send your thank you email, start by thanking them for their time and for sharing more about the role. Then say, as I reflected further on, your question regarding ABC, it reminded me of an example I failed to share with you. You give one to two sentences about that that demonstrates your fit for the role or your school skills or qualifications and that's it. Then you wrap up with your enthusiasm and looking forward to next steps. Hope this helps you!

Answering a Multi-Part Interview Question

Job interviews can be stressful, especially when you’re asked a question that feels like two or three questions rolled into one. These complex, multi-part questions are particularly challenging because they require you to process and remember multiple pieces of information—all while managing the pressure of the interview setting.

But don’t worry—there’s a way to handle these tricky questions with confidence and clarity.

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Have you ever been in a job interview where you're asked a question, but it's really like two to three questions in one? Those are very, very challenging for us to remember. first of all, because it's a lot of information, but second of all, when we're typically a little bit more nervous or stressed in an interview, our cognitive resources are a little bit more offline. It's harder to kind of track everything because our bodies are in that fight, flight, freeze mode.

So two strategies, one is do as much as you can to manage your stress prior to an interview, but two, here's what you can do. Or if you just really don't know what you're gonna answer for that question, you can also use this strategy one-off as needed. So you can ask them to repeat the question, and it's totally fine to take notes and write it down, whether you're in person or virtually. And then as you're writing it down, your brain's going to start to think of the examples, and a lot of people are scared to ask for that question to be repeated, but it is very much okay.

Interviewing Mind Blank

Interviews can be nerve-wracking, and one of the most dreaded moments is when you’re asked a question, and your mind goes completely blank. Sound familiar? Don’t worry—you’re not alone. It’s a common fear, but with the right approach, you can navigate this scenario with confidence and poise.

Here’s a simple yet effective strategy to handle those moments:

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What do you do if you're interviewing and you get asked a question and your mind goes completely blank? It's pretty much everyone's worst fear in the job search process, but I have a tool for you to keep in your back pocket. Now, part of what we can do to mitigate the risk of this happening is to prep as much as possible. So definitely check out my other tips and strategies for interview prep. But if the worst case happens, here's what you can do. Acknowledge the question. So look the person in the eye and say, thank you for that question. Let me think about that for just one moment. As you say that you can break eye contact and look away, which takes a little bit of the pressure off and then your brain is going to start to have some space to come up with your answer. So it's going to feel those three seconds or five seconds that you look away and think is going to feel like three hours to you, but it's much better than stumbling and mumbling your way through an incoherent answer.

Happiness Savoring Strategy

Happiness isn’t just about big milestones or grand achievements—it often lies in the small, everyday moments. One way to tap into this daily joy is through the practice of savoring.

As part of The Science of Happiness program at Yale, Laurie Santos explores this concept in a video that’s free and accessible to all. In this Youtube short, you’ll find a quick breakdown of how savoring can enhance your happiness:

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Here is your happiness assignment: Explore your relationship with savoring. Now, I'm going to link to a video that Lauri Santos delivers as part of her The Science of Happiness program at Yale. Highly recommend it. It's free and accessible to all, but this little thing can really permeate all areas of your life, and it's a practice that you can cultivate. And some people are natural savorers. So if you think about something that is a little pleasure in your day, so maybe that warm cup of coffee, first thing in the morning? What's one thing that you can think about that's pleasurable in your day to day? And, really be mindful and attuned to any sensations that go on in that moment. So that's the process of savoring. And the science shows that this can extend those feelings of joy, of contentment and influence our happiness.

Embracing the Cringe: A Job Search Strategy That Works

When it comes to job searching and interview prep, there’s one strategy that can make a world of difference: focusing on the cringe. This approach helps candidates tackle their insecurities and turn perceived weaknesses into strengths.

As a Career Coach, I’ve found this method invaluable for my clients. Watch this Youtube Short to hear my tips on embracing the cringe.

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One strategy that I help my career coaching clients with when they're job searching and doing interview prep is to focus on the cringe. Now, if you're applying for a position where you're having to level up or you're pushing yourself a little bit outside of your comfort zone and growing into the role, sometimes when you read through the position description, you think, I don't really have that experience. I hope they don't ask me about this. And for many of us, we use an avoidance strategy. We think, I really hope they don't ask this, so I'm not going to even think about it. Now, go through the job description, look at any of those things where you think they could notice that you're not bringing as much to the table as someone else, and practice out loud and over-prepare for those questions. Best case scenario, they don't end up asking about it, but if you just avoid it, it's still likely that it's gonna come up, and the more you prepare and walk through that with a coach or yourself, the less cringy it'll be when you deliver your answer.

Career Change Story

Career changes can be daunting, but they also present exciting opportunities for growth and fulfillment. In this blog post and Youtube Short, we dive into an inspiring career change story that showcases the power of adaptability and perseverance. Whether you’re contemplating a career shift or simply looking for motivation, this story offers valuable insights into navigating the complexities of changing professional paths.

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I finally listened to that nagging feeling that had been weighing on me for a number of months. It was my junior year of college at Villanova. I had done pretty much all the requirements for my elementary education concentration but I had realized that I didn't want to be a teacher anymore and there was a lot of grief and a lot of anxiety around having spent all that time, money, and energy pursuing something and then changing my mind. I finally got up the guts to tell my parents and then I got up the guts to go to Career Services and work with a coach to figure out what I wanted to do but here's the plot twist!

I was pretty pissed after I left my first session with a career coach because I went in expecting and hoping that if I told them what I brought to the table they would just tell me what to do with my life but I came back around. I worked with a coach and through that relationship I learned what my values, interest, personality, and skills really were and what I wanted my work to mean to me. And, through that I discovered the path that I'm still on today over 15 years in.

So, if you have this sinking feeling in your gut and you just know there's a disconnect between what you're doing and where you'd rather be spending your time and energy and maybe you don't know what the thing is but you know it's not this here's your sign your nudge to listen to that to lean into that fear and give yourself that time and attention to figure out what will feel more aligned for you.

Combat Imposter Syndrome

Impostor syndrome is a common experience where individuals feel like frauds despite their accomplishments. This can often undermine confidence, stifle career growth, and create unnecessary stress. Understanding and overcoming impostor syndrome is crucial for both personal wellbeing and professional success. Watch this Youtube Short to help you navigate and conquer these feelings.

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Use this tip to help bolster your confidence in any organization that you might be in or if you're stepping into a new role and feeling a little bit of impostor syndrome. This can also be really helpful if you are job searching. So I call it the happy face folder. Anytime you have had good feedback from a performance review maybe you've gotten a kind comment from a client, customer, or colleague save these things and put them into a folder in your email that's literally just a happy face. Anytime that you start to feel that self-doubt, you might be in a growth edge where you're working on something you're not as skilled at, check out your happy face folder. Especially when you're job searching and you're not hearing back from organizations or maybe you didn't get selected this can be the thing to give you that little nudge and Pat on your back to remind you you have a lot to offer

Walk Me Through Your Resume

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Walk me through your resume. If you ever get asked that in an interview or a networking conversation don't answer it! Literally, what happens is it ends up being a mini life story and filled with a lot of information that doesn't actually pertain to the conversation at hand. So, the question within the question that the other person's really trying to get at is: tell me what I need to know about you, your background, and your experience that matters for this conversation at hand that shows you’re a good fit for this job opportunity. If you keep that in mind and use that to frame your answer and what you highlight about your background it's going to be a much more effective answer.

The Best Interview Preparation

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What's the best way to go about prepping for a job interview and knowing what questions you're going to get asked? Start with the job description. So many of my clients before we work together when they're called for interviews they start by Googling frequently asked interview questions or common interview questions and while that's not a bad practice it's not the best way to go about it. You have all the clues in the job description to know what the organization is curious about so take that and dissect it and turn everything from the duties to the qualifications and skills into questions.

So, for example if they talk about a need for project management skills they're probably going to ask a question like: tell me about a time when you managed a project. You can also use Chat GPT or one of your favorite AI tools plug it in and say act as a hiring manager and create a sample list of questions pertinent to this role. From there, you can then start to zoom out and look at those frequently asked questions like tell me about yourself but this is going to be much more effective.

Two Books for Work and Wellbeing

In the pursuit of a more fulfilling and balanced life, sometimes the simplest solutions are the most transformative. If you're looking to enhance both your professional and personal well-being, there are two essential books that offer profound insights and practical advice.

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Here are two books that can really impact your work and your well-being. The first is Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nester. About 90% of us are breathing incorrectly and I don't share that to scare or fear-monger but to build awareness that a lot of us are disconnected from the best way of creating this foundation of well-being within ourselves that can really impact all areas of our lives. The other book I want to mention is Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived Joyful Life. This is one of the books I recommend the most for my clients and for people just thinking about how to re-engage with their work and re-engage with activities both in and outside of the office that bring them joy. It's filled with activities and prompts to help you really get reflective about how you're spending your time hope that these books help you take good care of yourself no matter what you're up to.

Do This When You Can't Sleep

If you've ever found yourself tossing and turning in bed, desperately wishing for sleep that just won’t come, you're not alone. Sleep is one of the most vital components of our well-being, but when we’re stressed or burned out, it can often be the first thing to suffer. Whether you're dealing with burnout from work, caregiving, or just life's demands, the quest for restful sleep can seem elusive. Fortunately, there are practical strategies that can help you reclaim your nights and restore your energy. Let's dive into some effective tools and techniques to improve your sleep quality, even when you're feeling overwhelmed.

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if you want to know more about the stages of burnout or the different characteristics and qualities to look for to assess if you're burned out or not definitely check out some of the other videos on this channel but I want to share a tool that is easier said than done that can be supportive no matter where you are on that burnout cycle.

Sleep is one of the most healing things that we can do for our minds, bodies, and souls. It's often one of the things that can really go by the wayside when we're burned out. Whether our burnout is coming from caregiving or if it's from our work a lot of times when our plates are more full we sacrifice sleep. Think about what you can control and what is within your power to tinker with to get better sleep. Another strategy is Yoga Nidra if you're trying to sleep and you're not able to go down or you're waking up and having trouble going back down this is a form of non-sleep deep rest that can help your body feel like it's recovered that lost sleep.

Take Control of Your Sleep

Remember, even when burnout feels overwhelming, there are steps you can take to improve your sleep and overall well-being. By implementing practical sleep strategies and incorporating Yoga Nidra into your routine, you can help your body and mind recover from stress and exhaustion.

Sleep is a powerful tool for healing and recovery. By prioritizing it and using techniques like sitting in stillness and Yoga Nidra, you can enhance your rest and resilience, helping you navigate through burnout with greater ease. Sweet dreams and restful nights ahead!

Unlock the Power of Hugs

We all have that one friend or family member who's known for giving long, warm hugs—the kind that last a little longer than most. While it might seem like just a quirk, there's actually some science backing up their embrace. According to Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by the Nagatsuki sisters, a 20-second hug can be a powerful tool for combating stress and resetting your body’s natural balance.

When we face stress, our bodies often go into fight, flight, or freeze mode—a natural response designed to protect us from danger. But in our modern lives, these stressors are less about physical threats and more about work deadlines, social pressures, or personal challenges. And while the stress triggers have evolved, our physiological responses haven’t quite caught up. That’s where the long hug comes in.

What Happens During a 20-Second Hug?

When you engage in a 20-second or longer hug, several positive changes occur in your body:

1. Hormonal Shifts: Your body starts to release oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone." This chemical not only promotes feelings of bonding and connection but also helps reduce cortisol levels, which are associated with stress.

2. Lowered Blood Pressure: As you relax into the embrace, your blood pressure begins to drop, which is a sign that your body is moving out of the high-alert state that stress often triggers.

3. Slowed Heart Rate: Alongside the drop in blood pressure, your heart rate slows down, signaling to your body that it’s safe to exit the fight-or-flight mode.

How to Use This Strategy

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or caught in a stress cycle, consider leaning into a hug. It doesn’t have to be forced or awkward—just a genuine, comforting embrace. If this feels accessible and safe for you, it can be a simple yet effective way to help your body return to a more grounded state.

So the next time you find yourself on the receiving end of a long hug, don’t rush it. Embrace the moment—literally—and let it be a tool for resetting your stress response. Your body and mind will thank you for it.

Surprising Job Search Mindset Tool

Job search resilience refers to the ability to remain positive, motivated, and persistent despite the challenges you might face during the job search process. Watch this video to learn a tip that can help build job search resilience.

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I want to share one of the most creative things I have heard when it comes to thinking about job search resilience. So I was speaking at a conference and my co-panelist shared that she had been laid off from a job and every morning before she got started with her applications and her networking, she would watch a commencement speech.

Now that was not the thing that I was expecting to hear. And she shared that a lot of times in those speeches, people are talking about really hard times in their lives, how they persevered, and then usually they're pretty successful people. So I thought this was so thoughtful, so creative, so out of the box, and a great way to think about taking care of your mindset and your mental health when going through something that can be pretty challenging for many people.

So I hope that this tool is supportive for you, whether you've been laid off or not, to help you have another tool in the toolkit for taking good care of yourself.

Salary Negotiation

Have you had the desire to negotiate your salary but you’re not sure how your employer will react? Turns out salary negotiation is common and even expected from the majority of employers. Explore compelling reasons why negotiating your salary is helpful for your career success.

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Did you know that about 70% of organizations expect candidates to negotiate after they're given a job offer? Yet only about 50% of people actually do that negotiation. Now there's a lot of factors at hand, and I do want you to know, if you're excited about and happy about the offer, then you don't have to feel pressure to negotiate.

That being said, a lot of times we just get anxious, and I notice that my clients just get nervous that an offer will be rescinded, and that is what prevents them from negotiating. There are many different ways to approach this conversation in a respectful and grounded way, to advocate in the facts and the data that you do deserve more without offending an organization or the employer at hand.

If this is something you're interested in learning more about, I'm happy to connect. But even just knowing that many people put an offer out there expecting you to ask for more can be the nudge that a lot of people need.

Breathing While Scrolling

Have you heard of screen apnea? Explore this phenomenon where we unconsciously hold our breath while using digital devices. Screen apnea can lead to increased stress and decreased cognitive function. Keep reading to learn the the importance of mindfulness and breath awareness to mitigate its effects and promote overall well-being.

I invite you to use this blog post to practice conscious breathing while scrolling!

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Check in right now as you're on your screen on your breathing. Odds are very, very high that it's really shallow in your chest. You might even be going in and out through your mouth. And at certain points, you might even be somewhat holding your breath without realizing it. This is a concept called screen apnea.

Linda Stone, a former Microsoft executive, came up with this term. And it relates to this phenomenon of not even noticing when we're in a deep level of focus and concentration or honestly also mindless scrolling on our phones, there's so much stimulation and our focus is so narrow that we tend to really slow down the pace of our breath.

Now there's a lot of different things to think about with this, but you might notice you feel exhausted at the end of a day, even if it wasn't very stressful because of this type of breathing. This turns our nervous systems into more of that fight, flight, freeze mode because when we breathe in this shallow way, we think that we're looking for, our bodies think that we're perceiving a threat or watching or a threat. So check in on your breathing and make sure you take some breaks and follow for more tips.

Quick Burnout Check-In

Explore the hidden costs of burnout in this quick video. Uncover the toll that chronic stress can take on your well-being and productivity. Implementing small changes can lead to significant improvements in your overall satisfaction and effectiveness at work.

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Many of us spend our days in go, go, go, move, move, move, do, do, do mode. And this is a quick check in to get a sense of whether or not you're headed down a path towards burnout.

Burnout Criteria

So the three criteria that were originally part of the 1975 definition of burnout by Herbert Freudenberger are a decreased sense of accomplishment, a depersonalization and emotional exhaustion. Now we know that burnout can come from many areas of life, not just work as it was originally coined to be referencing, but check in on each of these and see how many of them hold true to you.

Do you feel like nothing you do really matters anymore? Do you feel less empathy or sympathy or compassion for the people around you? And do you feel just emotionally exhausted, exhausted most of the time?

If that's the case, I highly recommend that you start to build that self-awareness to take some action to take good care of yourself and get the support that you need.