Embracing the Cringe: A Job Search Strategy That Works

When it comes to job searching and interview prep, there’s one strategy that can make a world of difference: focusing on the cringe. This approach helps candidates tackle their insecurities and turn perceived weaknesses into strengths.

As a Career Coach, I’ve found this method invaluable for my clients. Watch this Youtube Short to hear my tips on embracing the cringe.

The text below is auto-generated. Please excuse any typos!

One strategy that I help my career coaching clients with when they're job searching and doing interview prep is to focus on the cringe. Now, if you're applying for a position where you're having to level up or you're pushing yourself a little bit outside of your comfort zone and growing into the role, sometimes when you read through the position description, you think, I don't really have that experience. I hope they don't ask me about this. And for many of us, we use an avoidance strategy. We think, I really hope they don't ask this, so I'm not going to even think about it. Now, go through the job description, look at any of those things where you think they could notice that you're not bringing as much to the table as someone else, and practice out loud and over-prepare for those questions. Best case scenario, they don't end up asking about it, but if you just avoid it, it's still likely that it's gonna come up, and the more you prepare and walk through that with a coach or yourself, the less cringy it'll be when you deliver your answer.

3 Lessons from Ted Lasso to Help Your Job Search

I’ve already confessed my love for Ted Lasso in my 5 Lasso Lessons to use to create a healthier work culture article.

With Season 3 (finally!!!) being officially teased as “coming soon” – what better way to celebrate than to discuss how this show can bring lightness to an often-heavy thing – the job search process.

Okay… one better way to celebrate would be to rewatch Seasons 1 and 2… this will be here when you’re done 😊

With significant layoffs happening lately, this topic is even more important to discuss.

Here are 3 Lessons from Ted Lasso for Job Seekers

1. Be curious

Photo credit https://tenor.com/view/ted-lasso-tedlassogifs-be-curious-jason-sudeikis-dont-judge-gif-21044956

If you watched the show, you’ll remember one of the best scenes from the series (in my opinion!) being when Ted beat Rupert in darts in front of the entire pub. Here’s a refresher, or a little sneak peek if you’ve never watched.

Random fun fact: I played a LOT of darts when I went to college at Villanova University and was actually fairly decent. RIP Maloney’s Pub!

This mindset can be very helpful when you’re interviewing for a new job. It’s easy to get distracted by the excitement of moving forward after applying and to forget that you’re interviewing the organization too!  

One way to stand out from fellow interviewees is to think strategically about what to say when asked “What questions do you have for us?”

Here’s where being curious comes in.

If you’re interested in and excited about the role, then you’re likely starting to envision and think about the realities of what it might be like to actually:

…do that job

…be a part of that organization

…work with the people interviewing you.

Asking questions about the details of those things will absolutely make you stand out from your competition and show that you’re invested in this opportunity. An example of what this could look like:

“I noticed in the news recently the announcement of a future partnership with XYZ Company. I’m curious to know how that partnership might impact this team, and the scope of work for this role in particular?”

A related note: If you’re genuinely interested in the organization and the job, this is much easier to do.   😊

2. Culture clues are all around

Pulling on this curiosity thread, if you keep your eyes open, there are often clues on company culture all around.

Ted Lasso treats every member of the AFC Richmond organization the same – from executives to the MVPs to kit man Nate. While that’s the norm for a person of his character, it’s clear that when he takes over as head coach that this way of treating others is not the norm. In Season 1 Nate is absolutely shocked when Ted is talking to him, remembering his name, and including him in any decision-making.

Photo credit https://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/e5d9a5d2-cdbd-414e-b64e-d27365c88e52/gif

That was a clue for Ted to see what the former leadership was like. For anyone at AFC Richmond wondering how this new coach would influence the team culture, it was clear from the start that outdated hierarchical dynamics would not be a part of the new system and that everyone had value and something to contribute.  

Many clients come to me looking to leave a toxic work environment – but a common theme? They know they want to make a change, but they’re terrified that they may end up somewhere just as bad or worse.

While we can never be 100% sure about what it will be like at a particular employer until we’re employees, there are a number of ways we can try to collect culture clues.

Here are some strategies:

• Look at feedback and company reviews on Glassdoor: I do think of this as being analogous to Yelp reviews for restaurants – you need to have these be only one piece of the puzzle I’ve looked up my favorite restaurants on Yelp and been shocked to see some of the poor reviews – everyone has their own unique experience 😊 That being said, if there are tons of reviews saying there is a toxic work culture, that’s important data to consider.

• Ask questions in your interviews – other than the basic “can you tell me about the company culture” – to keep collecting clues. I approve of the sample questions included in this article with 6 ways to figure out a company’s culture, and the other tips they share are great as well.

• You can also use the interview process, particularly the types of questions you get asked, to reverse engineer and see if they’re pointing to any red flags. If every interview round has multiple questions about how well you handle challenges, lack of information and clear direction, and conflict… take note! Write down the questions you’re asked right after finishing each interview so you can zoom out and look for these themes before accepting an offer. Also, if you arrive early for any in-person interviews, use that time to be a fly on the wall and see what you might observe about employee dynamics.

• Is there high turnover? You can ask how long the person who held the role you’re interviewing for was in it, but you can also do an advanced search on LinkedIn and see if the organization is churning out people. Lastly, I love these 9 “sneaky” ways to keep assessing culture.

One last point on this Lasso lesson: you can also use this idea to your benefit when onboarding at a new organization. Look to learn from everyone, not just those in leadership or roles more senior to yours!

For example, if someone technically “below” you in an organizational chart has been there for 10 years already, they have a lot of institutional knowledge. This is one of the hardest things to learn when starting somewhere new, and something that can contribute to your ability to hit the ground running.

Everyone has something valuable to contribute.  

3. Be a goldfish*

When Sam is beating himself up after a play, Ted shares that the happiest animal in the world is a goldfish because they have a 10 second memory. He then encourages Sam to be a goldfish and it’s perfectly awkwardly received.

Photo from https://tenor.com/view/ted-lasso-tedlassogifs-jason-sudeikis-goldfish-be-a-goldfish-gif-20788379

I put an * on this lesson because there is some nuance to it.

If you’re applying to jobs with a thoughtful job search strategy and aren’t hearing back or never making it to final rounds of interviews, channeling your inner goldfish can help you not take any radio silence or rejection from employers personally.

However, it’s important to not completely goldfish this scenario: if you’re never moving forward in your process, look for the message that might be under the surface.

• Is there room to articulate your background better to connect the dots for employers?

• Can you make your resume stronger?

• How do you deal with answering negative interview questions?

Once you’ve assessed whether there is anything to learn, let goldfish mentality come in to avoid past “losses” impacting your future performance.

It’s much easier said than done, especially if you were a part of layoffs as that can take a toll on your confidence, but fostering job search resilience is key to being able to employ this strategy. 

Surrounding yourself with a community of people that treat you with kindness and cheer you on, when you’re winning or losing, is always a sound strategy in life. If you don’t have your own Lasso-like coach to be a part of that community, feel free to book a complimentary consultation with this coach instead 😊

Happy job hunting, and don’t forget to BELIEVE!

Photo from https://tenor.com/view/ted-lasso-believe-gif-18590055

What's Your Weakness?

In the 10 years I've spent helping people move from feeling nervous to confident before interviewing, this is often the questions that's most dreaded by my clients. 

When asked "Describe a weakness of yours?" it's important to first and foremost think about WHY the employer is asking you the question.

What do they actually care about and hope to learn?

This video will discuss what the question within the question is here, as well as three strategies for structuring your answer. For a complete guide to answering this, along with the "Tell me about yourself" question, you can download my free guide to the two most dreaded interview questions here.

You can also grab more free interviewing tips here, and how to answer negative interview questions here. I LOVE doing mock interviews, so if you're ready to get out of your comfort zone and practice, reach out for a free consult to set yours up!
 

Today's video is going to focus on how to answer everyone's least favorite interview question, which is to “describe a weakness of yours.” We're going to go through what this question is really asking, as well as what the most effective strategies to answer it are. 

Let's begin with actually dissecting what this question is really all about. A lot of my clients get frustrated or confused about why this question even gets asked. They think it's kind of a silly one to cover in an interview. What the question is really asking is, “Are you self-aware? Do you think you're perfect? Or do you know that there are some areas where you can work on and improve the skills and qualifications that you have?”

The second part of the question within this question is employers are trying to get a sense of if you're really picturing yourself in this role or not. If you give an answer that actually is a skill that has something to do with the position, it can showcase to the employer, you're picturing yourself in the role and really thinking through where you might have the ability to succeed and hit the ground running.

Conversely, what is an area where you would need a little bit more training? Those are the actual questions within the question, and that should give you a better sense of what employers are really looking for in their responses. 

Now, let's talk about the three strategies to use when answering this question in an interview. First things first, do not answer with an example, a skill, or a piece about yourself; that's a deal-breaker. For example, if the role says you need really strong Excel skills, and you don't have them, that's definitely not something you want to emphasize proactively. Another thing you want to avoid is any character flaws. If you have a tendency to run late, this is not something you want to seek out to share with your employer.

Strategy number two we’ll cover is you will want to think through and focus on if there is part of a job description that says desirable or preferable skills. This would be a really safe space to focus your answer on highlighting your skills compared to what the employer has posted on the job description.

For example, if they're talking about proficiency in certain software, highlight your proficiency in that system. If it's something you could learn quickly, or that you perhaps have demonstrated an aptitude for by learning in different related software, you could showcase that in your answer.

This brings me to the third strategy for answering the “Tell me about a weakness or describe your biggest weakness question.” The number one thing any answer, regardless of what you're focusing on saying should include is what you're doing, have been doing or will be doing to improve upon said weakness. An employer is not just looking for self-awareness, but also the ability to grow, develop and prioritize personal or professional development. 

If public speaking is the weakness you're going to emphasize, then you can talk about how this is an area you're working to improve upon. If you've proactively sought out speaking opportunities, or even taking a Dale Carnegie or a public speaking class, those would be things you would want to emphasize in your interview. Be sure to conclude your answer by saying, “These are the things I'm doing to improve upon this and I feel confident I will continue to develop in this area.”

This concludes my biggest tips for understanding both what the weakness question is really about, as well as the strategies to use to answer this in the most realistic, thoughtful, and thorough way for the employer. 

Thanks for watching, and if you have any other questions on this topic, feel free to leave me a note in the comment section, or download my free guide to interviewing to get you as prepared as possible for this exciting time.

Answering Negative Interview Questions

Interviewing can be stressful enough, let alone when a prospective employer asks you a question that brings up some negative emotions.

Common interview questions where this may happen include:

• Why are you leaving your current position?

• What did you like least about your most recent role/company?

• Tell me about a time when you disagreed with a colleague/client/customer.

• Tell me about a time when you failed.

• What’s a weakness of yours?

Fun list of topics, eh?

The basic strategy for these questions is this: provide an adequate and truthful answer without sharing too many dramatic details and while keeping a professional, calm tone.

Sounds manageable, but if you’re caught off guard by a negative question or you’re describing a situation that involved particularly high emotions, it can be quite challenging. When I do mock interviews with clients, I point out how even just one word choice can make a difference in how polarizing an example can sound (for example: That made me so furious vs That made me so frustrated. One word, big difference!).

So, what do you do?

Use the PAR approach.

This strategy works when answering any behavioral interview question because it gives you a framework for what information is most critical to include, along with how to organize it. People tend to be most long-winded when answering this style of question, and this method can help to weed out extraneous details. PAR stands for problem, action, result – a similar acronym is STAR which stands for situation, task, action, result. In short, you want to assess what problem or situation you’re going to describe, what action YOU took, and the conclusion (or the goal of your action if you didn’t see the conclusion/get the result you anticipated).

Practice out loud.

This aligns with previous interview prep tips I’ve shared, and it’s because I can’t emphasize it enough. You’ll notice how delicate the word choice is, and it’s better to stumble over it on your own than in front of the employer. Ideally, have a friend or career coach listen to your answer and give you feedback as to how it translated.

Choose your examples carefully.

If you get feedback that your answer is still a little bit touchy, or you’re continuously struggling with getting it to a place where you feel like it's a strong answer, choose a new example if possible. Those are signs that the situation was too complicated to describe easily or that you’re still feeling too strongly about it to share it with an employer in an interview.

a simple (and silly) example to help illustrate these practices

...fun fact, this is a true story from the job I held at Super Kmart at 16 years old!

Question: Can you tell me about a time you dealt with a difficult person (client/customer/colleague)?

Answer: While working as a cashier at Super Kmart, a middle-aged gentleman tried to purchase cigarettes from me. The strict store policy required employees to ask for ID from everyone, even if they appeared to be well over the legal purchasing age. The gentleman forgot his ID so I politely informed him that unfortunately I couldn’t complete the sale. He became extremely agitated and began yelling. I calmly replied that I’d be happy to refer him to my manager if he’d like to continue the discussion, as there was nothing I could do to change the policy. He agreed, I brought in my manager, and they sorted out a solution together so I could move on to serve the next customer.

In reality, I thought this man was completely inappropriate and rude, and that the policy was a bit extreme, but those stronger feelings aren't present in this response.  

Use these tips and you’ll feel more confident when answering negative questions during your next interview!

Want a deeper dive into the strategies behind answering the two most dreaded interview questions (including the infamous weakness question)? Download my guide which includes a bonus: the simple but often forgotten tactic to nailing an interview.

Interviewing Tips

Helping people prepare for interviews is one of my FAVORITE things to do (yes, I realize how nerdy this makes me sound, but I’m okay with that).

There's so much anxiety and fear that comes along with the excitement of landing this precious time with an employer. One of the reasons why I love it so much is because it's so rewarding to use my holistic perspective and coaching skills to move people through those feelings to a place of confidence.

If you're battling a bout of the pre-interview scaries, read on to get moving!

The first thing to do is remember that there's a reason why you're being interviewed!

Really, that’s step one. It sounds simple, but my clients often get swept up in the overwhelm and overlook this critical information. Employers go through hundreds or thousands of applications before narrowing the pile down to a first round of interviews. They don't have the time or resources to interview you just for fun. Something in your application materials made them interested enough in you to connect.

Use that not only as a confidence building tool, but also as guidance on how to prepare. Go through all of your application materials and know them like the back of your hand. Assess what you think, from their perspective, is most attractive about you and practice speaking to those things.

This may sound obvious, but so many people have information on their resume that’s from a few years ago and when I ask them to tell me about it they fumble with remembering what they actually did.

Take a peek at your resume right now and skim to one of your oldest bullets – is that true for you, too?

Don’t let this happen with an employer. You may think the older information has nothing to do with the prospective job, and you may be right, but sometimes they’re intrigued to learn more for exactly that reason. It can break up the monotony for them when reading resumes of candidates with very similar backgrounds and experiences.

In summary: be able to speak to every single line on your resume.

The more you “overprepare” for an interview, the less anxiety surrounds it and the more you’ll be able to start off the conversation from a place of confidence.

Continue to use the clues you have in front of you to keep plugging away, instead of jumping over and Googling “interview questions.” If you followed my exercise for how to write a cover letter, you’ve already dissected the job description (if you haven’t, download my free guide to help make cover letter writing less painful while simultaneously setting yourself up to be ahead in your interviewing prep work). Based on the themes you’ve noticed in the post, you can anticipate what types of questions you’ll be asked, and then practice them out loud. You can also find sample interview questions on recruiting or career services sites with a quick Google search.

It will likely be uncomfortable practicing out loud, but it’s always worth it.

The way you think you’ll answer something in your head often translates very differently when it comes out of your mouth. Notice what part of the job or skills you feel weakest in and spend extra energy practicing how you’ll approach those instead of just hoping they won’t ask you about them.

Next, scour the company website, Glassdoor, and the news to be as informed as possible about how they’re branding themselves and what information is widely known about them.

Lastly, ask for information if you don’t have it.

I’ve had clients get so excited to be asked to interview that only later do they realize they don’t have very important information. One extreme example is when a client of mine didn’t even have a job description! He’d done an informational interview and they asked him to come in and interview the next day for a position that hadn’t even been posted yet. He accepted the interview and then had no idea how to prepare. When I asked him if he asked them for the details he said no. It’s a completely reasonable thing to ask for, and after some encouragement he realized he had nothing to be afraid of and sure enough they sent it his way when he asked.

Consider: Who will you be meeting with? How many people and at what times (and if it's a full-day interview, what snacks will you bring?)? What are the details of the job? Can you confirm the location, especially if they have multiple locations?

I can go on, but these guidelines should get you off to a very comprehensive start.

One last thing... If you’re nervous, don’t forget to breathe!

Deep belly breaths will help trigger your relaxation response to counter that stress. There’s debate about some other more holistic approaches to your mindset and physiology, but breathing should definitely be on your to-do list.

If you’re on a roll and want more tips, read on for how to answer negative interview questions or strategize your “What’s your weakness?” answer instead of just dreading being asked it!

For personalized support on thank you note etiquette, navigating the salary conversation, managing energy when interviewing back to back, and everything else… reach out or send this along to a friend who is job searching. Good luck!

The Top 8 Mistakes Job Seekers Make and How to Recover from Them

The job-search process can often leave candidates feeling frustrated and powerless. Not being selected or never hearing back from employers after submitting applications can only exacerbate these feelings.

Discovering that you’ve been doing something “wrong” can actually be good news.

It means there’s room to improve the process and yield different results. If you’re doing everything perfectly and still not making any headway in your search, it would be much more frustrating.

These are the eight common mistakes I've seen job seekers make over the last 10 years of being a career coach. If any of these sound like you, modify your approach and you’ll notice the difference!

1) You spend all of your time applying to jobs posted online or waiting for things to open.

While it’s a necessary step in the process, many jobs that are posted are actually either already filled (HR has a legal obligation to post) or nearly filled (the employer already has someone in mind). There are times when you might apply to something randomly and be hired, but up to 85% of jobs are offered to people with a pre-existing connection to the hiring organization. 

To increase your network, schedule informational interviews with people at the companies where you want to work. These individuals can alert you to future job openings, and perhaps even allow you to mention their names in your cover letter, which will make your application stand out in the stack of résumés.

2) You don’t manage your time efficiently or know how to spend your energy.

Whether you’re balancing a job search while holding another job or if searching for work is your full-time focus, this is challenging! I can’t tell you how many times this scenario rings true for my clients: You sit down in front of your computer thinking, “Okay here we go, job search time!” and then three hours and 30 open browser tabs later you are left questioning what you’ve accomplished. Maybe you started with clicking a link for an open position, which led you to look up the company on LinkedIn, which led you to click on an employee profile to learn more, which brought you to another company page, which…. you get the point. The remedy for this related to mistake #3…

3) You don’t set goals.

I’m a big advocate for goal setting in both personal and professional matters (you might have guessed by the name Aspire!). The job search process is enough of an overwhelming black hole on its own, and failing to concretize what you want to accomplish only exacerbates that sensation. Life happens, so even if you plan to send three informational interview requests in one week and you only get to two, it’s still a step forward. Be proactive in planning what deliverables you want to achieve and you’ll be more likely to get there!

4) You don’t hold yourself accountable.

But Aileen, you just said life happens!?! Yes, it does. There’s a difference, however, between when something major comes up or you misjudge how long a task will take versus just making excuses. Create structure and show up for yourself in the same way you’d show up for others because if you don’t prioritize your success why will anyone else?

5) You don’t customize or perfect your application materials.

This may sound dramatic but I’d rather see someone apply to 0 jobs (and focus on networking) than submit 30 applications that aren’t tailored for the employer/role specifically… that’s how strongly I believe in the power of thoughtfully reframing your experience every time. You may be wondering how to know what language will resonate with the employer—the answers lie in the job description, the company website, and in what you hear from people who work there.  It may not be realistic to speak with someone before every application, but do these three things:

• Pick apart the post and look for themes

• Comb through the website extensively to find additional terminology

• Read a few LinkedIn profiles of people working there (bonus points if they’ve had the job you’re applying for!). Use all of this information to customize your cover letter and résumé for that particular employer.

6) You submit materials with errors or typos.

Perhaps you recycled some language from one cover letter to another and forgot to change the company name, or maybe you said fiancé instead of finance and spellcheck didn’t warn you. No one submits typos on purpose, and no one thinks it’ll ever be them, so to keep that the case, here are some pointers:

Print out what you’ve written and read it aloud in advance - this will help with words that spellcheck doesn’t catch!

Have someone else (a mentor, friend, or me!) take a peek for you since you know what you’re trying to say and your brain may skip over the details.

 

7) You don’t prepare for interviews properly.

This usually happens more by accident than because of a lack of effort. Maybe you thought you were going to have a casual conversation and then all of a sudden you’re getting grilled. Maybe you planned for a certain line of questioning and then what you’re presented with is completely different.

Whatever the case may be, there is nothing worse than that sinking feeling in your gut when you feel the conversation slipping away from you. I have another post completely dedicated to interviewing tips, but my abbreviated tips to prevent the conversation from slipping away from you are:

1. Research, research, and then research some more.

2. Remember that there is a reason you’re being interviewed. Study all of the materials you submitted and be able to explain them in greater detail.

3. Prepare questions for your interviewers in advance that are thoughtful and showcase all of the research you’ve done.

8) You don’t know what you want.

Whoa. What?! Yep, this one’s the doozy. To clarify, it isn’t a mistake not to know what you want, but it makes your job search much more difficult. There are a variety of reasons why you may be uncertain of your next step, but if you’re not convinced that you genuinely want to work somewhere, it will show in your application materials and in how you come across in your interviews.

Check in with yourself.

If you’re reading a job description and you feel that it would be difficult to write a cover letter for the position, you’re either not excited or not qualified (or both). If you assess what you want and apply for roles that align with your goals, you’ll be more energized and excited about the opportunity and that passion will shine in your writing and in your interview.

Hopefully being aware of these common job-seeking mistakes, and how to avoid them, will help you see more progress in your job search. If you need that extra pair of eyes on your applications, help creating and being held accountable to goals, or guidance towards figuring out what you really want to do, request your free career consultation with me today!

My content and this photo were originally shared on SharpHeels.com: Job Seeking Missteps