Finding Balance in the Chaos: How to Embrace Positive Stress

Plot twist: not all stress is bad.

A consistent theme in my practice, whether it’s in my 1-1 career coaching sessions or workplace wellness workshops, is stress management. 

I often ask my clients if they know what eustress is, and many times the answer is no.

I ask this to participants in my wellness workshops, and recently I delivered a customized wellness workshop to over 500 people and only about 10 said yes… so, this seems like an important topic to discuss!

Here is the American Psychological Association (APA) definition:

“n. the positive stress response, involving optimal levels of stimulation: a type of stress that results from challenging but attainable and enjoyable or worthwhile tasks (e.g., participating in an athletic event, giving a speech). It has a beneficial effect by generating a sense of fulfillment or achievement and facilitating growth, development, mastery, and high levels of performance.”

Sometimes just knowing this exists can help us shift our mindset and feel less stressed.

Instead of demonizing it all, in a moment of challenge we can use this awareness to reframe and remind our brains that we’re safe.

A fantastic deeper dive into this can be done through listening to this excellent TED Talk about how to make stress your friend, by Kelly McGonigal.

She also has a book “The Upside of Stress: Why Stress is Good for You and How to Get Good at It” if you’d like to dig even deeper again.

I’ll leave you with this invitation: can you take a look at all that is on your proverbial plate that is stressing you out, and explore which thing you may be able to reframe and label as a source of good stress, helping you develop and grow personally and/or professionally?

Feel free to let me know in the comments – it can be quite the powerful practice.

The Greatest Lessons I’ve Learned as an Entrepreneur

I’ve officially been a woman-owned small business owner for 7 years!

Here are 7 lessons from 7 years of my entrepreneurship journey to help YOU in your work and wellbeing.

1) Celebrate your wins… and save proof!

Life is too short and there is always more to achieve. If you don’t acknowledge what you’ve done to get where you are, you’re never going to feel fulfilled.

Save those happy emails and any data of those wins… and take pictures when possible. The photo below is from February 2016 commemorating the first time I received payment for my own business. 😊

One way to integrate this into your regular workday? Start your weekly team meeting by asking everyone to share one win. It builds connection, community, and helps retrain your brain to start to look for the positive.

2) It’s okay, and beneficial, to cringe.

There are MANY things I did when I started that I cringe at now. It reminds me of when I found the resume that I submitted when I first applied be a career coach in 2007 … I had an interests section that listed “the internet” #eldermillenial

We all started somewhere and were novices at some point. If you look back and cringe, it’s a good sign of all the skill development and expertise you’ve gained along the way.

3) Be kind to yourself

Most of us have a feed running in our minds filled with negative self-talk. In a world that pretends perfection is attainable, let’s dispel that myth and honor that we’re human and to be human is to make mistakes.

There are over 2000 studies on the power of self-compassion for improved wellbeing and professional development.

Life is hard enough - have your own back.

4) Ask for help

Oooooo… growth edge anyone? <<raising my own hand>>

My thanks to my best friends and family for being my unofficial board members at the start of my business. This isn’t new advice for most, but my invitation is to explore how much you’re implementing this on a regular basis in your personal and/or professional life.

5) Zoom out

You've likely heard me preach about doing career wellness check-ins. I said I never wanted to have my own business. My interests and values shifted, and I've changed my professional life to align with those shifts.
 
You're not the same person at 43 that you were at 23. Give yourself space to see what you want your work to mean and how it is or isn't aligned.

6) You can have too much of a good thing

It’s less talked about, but you can absolutely burn out from doing what you love.

How can you create boundaries to not let work take over?

7) Live your life

We’re human beings not human doings. You can work hard AND have hard boundaries about when it’s time to rest. When you learn how much happens when we sleep, it becomes clear how productive rest is and how critical a component it is to achieving.

Often, we don't take this to heart until life puts it in perspective for us...
 
Take the vacation. Close the laptop when you’re fried and just mouse-moving. There will always be more unread emails.

Be okay leaving things on the to-do-list and reconnecting to things on your who I want to-be list.

Cheers to 7 years, and to you celebrating yourself more!

5 Ted Lasso Lessons To Use To Create A Healthier Work Culture

The Apple TV+ show, Ted Lasso, will forever hold a most special place in my heart.

I first started watching thanks to the encouragement of my mother. At the time, she was enduring treatment for stage IV non-smokers lung cancer during a global pandemic… so basically, she was trapped at home feeling like garbage and was a prime candidate for both entertainment and some cheer. 😊

She and my brother swiftly ripped through the first season, and every time I would travel to the home I grew up in in Connecticut to take care of and visit her, she’d rewatch episodes she had seen at least twice already so that I could catch up.

Before the second season dropped, our entire family counted down to it with incredible anticipation. When we found out they were only going to release one new episode per week, we were frustrated with the news at first (who doesn’t love to binge their favorite show?!).

It ended up being the most precious gift for us all.

Each week we faced medical complications, side effects, treatments, and often bad news. This show gave us something to look forward to – some light in the darkness that made up those days – and for that I will be eternally grateful.

It’s a great reminder of one of the many lessons the show imparts on its viewers – we all have much more power to create a positive change on the lives of each other than we realize.

Whew! Now that you know the depths of my love for this show, let’s get into some of the other lessons and how they can inspire us to create a healthier workplace.

Lesson 1: We don’t always have to change everything - sometimes listening can be just as impactful

When the legendary Roy Kent finally gives in and seeks out the “Diamond Dogs,” he’s surprised that they don’t offer advice and/or fix his problems. The conversation goes a little like this (after removing his signature expletives!):

Roy: Wait. So sometimes the Diamond Dogs is just chatting about stuff, and no one has to solve anything and nothing changes?

Ted: Sometimes. Yeah.

Roy: That's cool.

It all comes down to the power of connection and mindful listening. Sometimes, your employees and colleagues just want to be heard.

If you’re trying to make changes – big or small – in your organization to create a healthier culture, start from a place of being attuned to employee needs. This makes it much more likely that the changes will not only land well, but will also be impactful.

When it comes to 1-1 conversations, the question “How can I support you?” provides an avenue for this kind of discernment and getting to the root of what people want and need.

Image via GIPHY

Lesson 2: PLAY is powerful

In season 2, Isaac becomes Captain of the team and starts to lose his competitive edge. Roy tricks him into playing a nighttime pick-up football (soccer) match with young players, and there, Isaac remembers that having fun is why he started playing in the first place. When he taps into that innate joy, his performance elevates as well.

This demonstrates how playfulness and joy can impact many areas of our lives. My “The Power of Play” corporate wellness workshop covers how to infuse more joy and perspective into our lives. There is some interesting research on how play helps adults with resiliency, productivity, creativity, problem-solving and more.

When it comes to the workplace, there are two ways to explore integrating this concept:

1. Can you create more moments for this amongst teams? Some companies try by having foosball tables and axe-throwing events, but referring back to Lesson 1 here, it’s good practice to see what fun means to your employees first

2. Can you encourage this by creating more room for employees to do it on their own time? Especially if you’ve educated them on the power of play, perhaps creating a yearly “Friday Fun-day” where they have one full or ½ day off. This gift of time could demonstrate how serious a company is about facilitating more joy for their employees    

Image via GIPHY

Lesson 3: Mental health is physical health

That same season, Ted’s panic attacks are made public. He leans in and takes the opportunity to speak with the press about the importance of mental health and reducing the stigma around when people struggle.

This is another big lesson many organizations have learned over the last few years.

With rates of anxiety and depression rising 25% globally over the last 2 years, facilitating a culture where employees feel safe, supported, and able to access the resources they need to restore their mental health is critical.

What support tools does your organization have and how are those communicated to employees? In terms of prevention, what programming and tools are provided to employees to support their physical, mental, and emotional health, as we know they are all connected?

Lesson 4: We can’t control how others act, but we can control how we respond and model the behavior we’d like to see

This lesson is a core tenant in meditation and mindfulness practices, and it plays out on the Ted Lasso screen time and time again.

Ted appears, at times, impervious to the harsh words from AFC Richmond fans and the press. He repeatedly responds to criticism and negative energy with his trademark optimism and one-liners. 

If you’re in a workplace where you’re dealing with a difficult colleague/culture, one way to keep yourself grounded is to embody this mindset.

But what about applying this same notion to create a healthier workplace?

We know by now that company culture is contagious – which is great when it’s a healthy and positive one, and not so beneficial when it’s a culture of burnout and toxicity. Given this, we want to be mindful of what we’re “spreading” and how our behaviors contribute to these cultures.

For leaders, it is even more important, as tone trickles down. For example, let’s take this scenario:

Leaders encourage employees to take their vacation days and really disconnect (to reduce stress, prevent burnout, and aim for more work life harmony), BUT when they themselves are out of the office, they’re still attending meetings and responding to emails.

That mixed message has a powerful impact on an employees' ability to trust that it’s okay to truly disconnect.

If trying to create a healthier workplace, leadership needs to “walk the talk” and be offline, otherwise the status quo will remain. And while we can’t make an employee really disconnect when they’re on vacation, we can model that it’s not only acceptable but encouraged behavior… and that may make all the difference.

Lesson 5: No matter our job title, there is always more to learn and more ways to grow

In Season 1, Ted relied on “kit man” Nate (a colleague typically ignored by many, and in an organizational chart, a “lower-ranked” employee) for an important idea that impacted the whole team. Ted’s ability to not only be open to feedback and ideas from others, but also his active solicitation of it is a great example to follow.

A healthy workplace is one where we recognize that all people can add value, not just the highest ranked employees.

Whether formally, through things like 360 reviews, or informally, through the way we treat one another in everyday interactions, how does your organization embody this simple yet powerful principle?

I hope these Lasso Lessons inspire you to explore ways you can integrate more wellness into your workday to create a culture where employees feel valued.

Want to learn more about how I support companies in creating wellness programming with this mission in mind?

Reach out for a complimentary consultation and let’s talk more.

Image via GIPHY

Finally, as a parting bonus, if you like to listen to music while you’re working, here’s a playlist I made from the soundtracks of both seasons. The songs are mostly instrumental, and the overall energy of the playlist is relaxed. Cheers!